Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

Should I just stop now ?


Recommended Posts

Any advice would be great.. Started talking to this guy recently. Asked him what would be some reason's for him not to date someone. His answer.. Std's ! So should I just basically stop talking to him now or just wait to see what happens? It's obviously to soon to tell him I have HSV.. What should I do???

Link to comment

If you're into him still, I would just wait. Get a better feel for him. I think ppl just throw things out there thinking it's funny bc they may not be very educated on the subject. See if he continues to make comments or crude jokes about STDs. Give him a shot first, you never know!

Link to comment

What a great way to ask him.

Ooh, that's a tough call. More than likely when they are that upfront, means he just interested in sleeping around or it actually is a deal breaker. But feel him out by asking more good questions or telling him stories you heard from someone (if you know what I mean ).

 

"Read between the lines" and you will have your answer.

Link to comment

I'd keep going.... AND ... know that he could back out when it's time to disclose ... but if it got to that point I'd be especially prepared to educate him.... starting with something like

 

"You mentioned you wouldn't date someone with an STD ... but do you know that 80% of people with Herpes don't know they have it? And that cold sores can be transferred to the genitals via oral sex? And that 80% of people have oral Herpes... so the odds are very high that you've dated plenty of people who have the potential to give you Herpes ... oh - and the CDC says EVERYONE will get HPV at some point.... " ... give him facts that show how common H is.... and the fact that by KNOWING that you have it, you can and will do more to protect him than someone who doesn't know they carry the virus and thus are likely unwittingly shedding at certain times :)

Link to comment

I had a guy say this and he was an OCD type.. My personal opinion is, it's like an 80-20% it's a deal breaker. I've had one friend who the guy she was dating said that was a deal breaker and they agreed to be friends, 3 months later he said screw it. She had him get tested and turns out, he has HSV 2 and neevr knew what the rash was all this time... Smh.. Hard call. For me, I knew the guy I was referring to had massive OCD issues and I felt he wasn't going to do well w that nor was he going. To be good for me period. Just wait it out and see how it goes. :-)

Link to comment

Thanks everyone for replying. I'm just gonna go one day at a time with him. Also, when and if the time comes to disclose I will for sure give him what he needs to know about HSV. If it's still a deal breaker.. Well than he just isn't the guy I was meant to be with. I will keep everyone posted on what happens. Wish me luck ! =)

Link to comment

Hey what's up Onelife! It seems you're already moving forward with it and that's great, that was gonna be my suggestion. When you do disclose, just make sure you have a positive attitude about it and be upfront how it has affected your life. For me at least, I tell people it hasn't changed mine at all. I occasionally get a small outbreak and while it's a little annoying, that's all it is. Sort of annoying. The hardest part is telling others, not the herpes itself. Good luck, if it's the right guy, he should and will be supportive of it and, ideally, thrilled you had the guts and integrity to tell him. Good luck!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...