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I have HSV1 (genital) and I think my boyfriend now has it...how to help him cope??


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I was diagnosed about 2 1/2 years ago and have had a hard time coping with the whole situation. In the mean time I got into another relationship with someone new and I had the talk with him and let him know what was going on and that I had herpes. I told him to read up on it just in case because he could always be at risk. He didn't take me seriously, and thought if we were careful, he would be ok. I have done everything I can do to be safe and protect myself as well as him such as taking my meds and not having sex when I feel an outbreak coming on, and using condoms.

 

Recently he thought he just had an ingrown hair but after watching it for a few days it looks like he may now also have herpes. He is freaking out and I don't know what else to do help him. I feel really guilty about this happening to him. I guess what I'm asking is, how else do I approach him about the situation? I was so angry at the person that I got this from, so all those thoughts are flooding my head and I feel like he is going to resent me for this.

 

Also just curious if other people have had the same symptoms. The sore isn't around his genitals it's higher up his pubic area near his stomach? Can the virus be spread by bodily fluids? We always use condoms and it just seems to be in a weird location.

 

Sorry for the rant and all the questions I'm just worried and also freaking out a little.

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I think one spot, is hardly enough to go off and be sure it is H. He should have had it swabbed immediately. Has he no other symptoms, such as tingling, itching, burning, etc?

 

I recommend you have him come on here, so we can help coach him through it, but. W outa swab, you can't be sure that's what this is. It's one red bump, people get bunos all the time all over the place. He needs to relax and take a step back. If he resents you, that's not on you honey, that's on him. You gave him the choice, unlike most of us ..

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Definitely get it swabbed. To be honest, there's an 80% chance he already has oral HSV1 in which case he already has the antibodies and that would protect him to some extent from getting it from you. I personally am not convinced it's Herpes. It could be a contact dermatitis from a new detergent, or something in the clothes he's wearing...

 

You generally can't get it from fluids in that H is in the nerves and comes out through the skin where those nerves are ... so it's mostly vigerous skin-to-skin contact that causes the virus to be passed on.

 

Also, HSV1 really doesn't shed much in the genital region (like 1/3 as much as HSV2 or oral HSV1) ... so your risk is pretty low there too. Odds are you got it from oral sex... which is VERY common nowadays because 80% of carriers don't know they have it.

 

So - where are your OB's normally? You do understand that the condom only protects the area it covers - so if your OB's are on the labia or anywhere outside of the vagina then it won't protect anything except that he won't get it on his penis (which is where HE is covered.) This is why condoms only give 50% protection.

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