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Questions about sex after first herpes outbreak??


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So it's been about a month for me since I got my first OB. Not on any meds, but taking Lysine and vitamins. No open sores, just itching and tingling still. I am not with anyone at the moment but I'm really missing sex. I was told these symptoms might be with me for the first 4 months to a yr? So I can't have sex until these symptoms go away?? Obviously I would disclose and insist on condoms but if I still have symptoms doesn't that make the chance of transmission higher? And then aren't I running a risk of making things worse for myself and getting another full blown OB?? I can't wait a whole yr to have sex..... ! Once I start seeing someone I'd get on suppressive therapy but until then, I feel that my body is handling it pretty well on its own. I just don't really know where to go from here until that happens.

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This is totally your call, and if you think that your body is handling this well on it's own then that's great! But, it does sound like the itching and tingling are kind of getting you down- especially when it comes to sex.

 

I've had good results with suppressive therapy, though I've had a lot going on with me (yeast, antibiotics, tingles, itching, etc) so it's hard to tell. BUT i have had weeks with no symptoms so that's great (I'm 4 months out)

 

I might do the following:

 

- Try suppressive therapy for a few weeks, just to see if it helps with your symptoms. If it does, then you can know that it works for you. Then you have a choice: continue the meds because you like having less symptoms, or go back off of the meds to let your body handle until you meet someone. Then, you can meet someone, date for a bit, decide you want to have sex with them, and start suppression therapy 10 days before you'd be ready to get between the sheets (that's how long suppressive therapy works).

 

Remember: Suppression meds don't just suppress symptoms, it suppresses asymptomatic shedding which is how this so often spreads.

 

I think it's important to note that even if you're not in a committed relationship, if you're planning to have sex, even casual sex, it would be great of you to be on suppression meds.

It's important to do all we can to protect our partners, even those we're not committed to :) and if you don't do suppression med with casual partners, make sure they know that you're taking precautions but not on the meds, maybe.

 

Good luck!

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If you have itching still, I'd definitely abstain from sex. As far as the paresthesia, I'm just not sure, because I had it constantly and nonstop for the first 7 months... Now a yr and 3 months later, outside of the constant obs I've been getting, I might feel around the too of my buttock pins and needles or back of thigh I might have a flutter that is ticklish and makes me itch it and it goes away.. I don't know if that means I'm contagious. We're taught that any prodrome is contagious, but I also recognize the damage that some got w their nerve sheathing, which can cause paresthesia is not the same as prodrome. The problem is, no real way to tell between the two... That hard to go w out sex huh? Wow.. Lol.. I'm an anomaly then. I went two yrs before I got this and had sex once and got it and now I'm at a yr and almost 4 months... It's not hard for me at all.

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They're going to do some digging. I should hear back from them today. Does anyone know, if I forward my results to my regular gyno since I was out of town when this happened, will she be likely to prescribe me anything? Or will she want me to come see her?

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Forward them and ask to have her give you something until you get in, if she's insistent on you seeing her before prescribing. Some docs are lax about it or some aren't. She may have the mentality to try to dissuade you from taking and to see how your body handled it, as my doc did the same thing.

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I'm in the same situation. I'm a 40 yr old woman, recently separated and was in a sexless marriage. Now I just can't seem to get enough. I want to try suppressive therapy, just so that it'll increase my chances of not being rejected after disclosure. I'm also on birth control (no estrogen so I don't get my period). I don't have any OBs per se (lesions) but I do get irritated from time to time + prodrome (sore butt, tingling , etc). A fellow herpster friend said I shouldn't do Valtrex b/c my body will never learn how to cope on its own. But, I really wanna get laid, and not limit myself to fellow herpsters. 10 days for Valtex to kick in, huh? Maybe I should start soon so when the time comes...

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It's so hard to figure this thing out. Let your body work on it, go on medication, it's just difficult to know what's best. I do think you're right, @ilovemyself. I think being on suppressive therapy will help others feel more comfortable in going through with it. And more so I think it'll ease my conscience. Just got the place I saw to mail me my results, so I'll be calling my gyno soon and probably just go ahead and be put on something. Besides, I'm pretty terrified of another OB.

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