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Psyching Myself Out.. :(


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Hey yall! Hope things are going well. I'm kind of struggling right now and could use some advice.

 

A little while ago I posted about a successful same-sex disclosure to a woman I'm currently seeing. We're long distance and haven't been intimate yet, but I'm visiting in about 3 weeks and we're *planning* for that to happen.

 

That being said, while she's long since accepted my situation, she has asked me to get retested to show that I'm otherwise negative/normal (which is fair, I'm glad she asked) and of course to bring proper safer sex materials (in this case that would be gloves, dental dams, condoms for toys... sorry if this is TMI)

 

For some reason this is making me feel bad. I think part of this has to do with my last relationship not requiring so many barriers.. in fact there were none at all after we both got tested (I've been on Valcyclovir & Lysine for two years and have only had one outbreak - my first). I'm just afraid sex is going to be really sterile and unsexy.. or that she'll change her mind altogether. I know I'm freaking out more because I like her more now than ever, but I don't know how to calm down. I don't wanna be thinking about H the whole time. It's also been several months since I've had sex, so I think I'm also just nervous.

 

Any encouragement or words of advice would be great. :)

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Omg I wrote sthng so eloquent and it didn't save lol

 

Let me try to replicate....

 

Basically you are pretty much guaranteed an uncomfortable sexual experience before you even start.

 

My advice is your feelings count. You feel like the precautions are a little excessive which I don't blame you. Condoms are reasonable imo but gloves are a bt excessive.

 

My advice is share how you feel. You need to be authentic and share with her how you feel. You count. Authenticity brings truth and great information. This information I.e how she reacts to that sharing will help you decide if this experience is for you.

 

I say let her know how you feel amd

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Hun, gloves are over kill. I agree w what the other two ladies said. I was in a relationship pre H many years ago w soneone w warts and I made us have ridiculous sex w condoms and boxer briefs and showr after. I was very young and I knew I didn't want to be w him forever, which was a reason I chose to be so cautious w him.

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  • 1 month later...

Beautiful!

 

Sometimes the knee-jerk reaction is to go for any barrier that you can put between you and the virus, and I've found that over time *most* partners get less paranoid as they get educated and, even more importantly, get into YOU enough to not be as concerned about potentially catching Herpes from you.

 

Keep us posted! So glad things are working out for you!

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