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Newly diagnosed with genital herpes

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On March 4th I felt likeI had theflu. I took some sinus medication and some liquidcold medicine but it wasn’t helping. I could not smell anything and I was waking up with a headache everyday for a week. On March 7th I was at work and started itching so badly I rubbed myself with toilet paper until I bled a small amount. When I got home I mentioned to my BF of 3 years that I was itching badly. He said he had been itching since Tuesday which was the last time we had sex but his itching has stopped. I started researching GH online and had EVERY symptom others mentioned EXCEPT the blisters. The pain and emotional exhaustion finally got to me and I went to the minor ER. I was told it was BV and given a one-time dose of Flagyl. It started to clear up my sinuses but nothing else. I returned the following day and demanded a herpes test. She insisted it was not GH and gave me Visterilfor the itch and anxiety.(They called me yesterday and said I had strep throat but no herpes results were back yet. now on augmenton) I left and called anOBGYN that fit me in right away. She also advised me that she thought it was severe BV and not GH, however she gave me Valtrex which she said could not hurt me and metronidazole vaginal gel. After 3 pap exams, neither provider saw lesions or blisters. Today is the 19th. I feel ill.I itch, haveintense burning and tingling and can feel my vagina swelling but there are no blisters, no red dots, and no bumps! After taking the Valtrex (500 mg 2x’s a day) I would get these sensations in my throat and in my legsand around my anus in my chest and throughout my body. It would only last about 30 minutes then it would just end and start again a short time latersomewhere else. My BF and I have had unprotected sex for almost 3 years now. We had 1 escapade with a friend of mine right after we started dating 3 years ago and recently when I called her aboutmy problem below,shetold me she has had bumps (likepimples)on her vaginaforyearsbut itwas infected hairs from shaving (which I have had). Then she told me if she takes Valtrex or puts abreevaon thesores she feelsbetter. My BF worked out of town for a year and I thought at one time that he was cheating on me. When I told him I might have GH he said he would be angry and wonder where it came from since we both tested neg before we got together. My test results came back from the OBGYN today and I am positive for HSV2. I had HSV1 before we got together but I have had only 1 coldsore in 3 years and just 6 months ago I questioned why I haven’t had a cold sore with all the colds I’ve had as I normally do. But that was as far as it went. He is going to get tested in a week since he doesn’t have insurance we have to pay for this out of pocket. He said he’s certain it will come back positive. Hesays he loves me and he isn’t going to leave me and he can’t believe my friend didn’t tell me about this. He said he never wants to see her faceagain but he does not blame me. I worried he might have had it and just didn’t disclose it. The reason I think this is because he knows a lot about GH and has had a lot of partners. I am in the healthcare industry and had to look up information about it. He knows stress can make them worse so he trys to calm me when I am crying saying “We will make it through this. I love you and everything will be fine.” I am in PAIN! I have to work but I don’t know HOW I am going to make it through this pain I am on the go 8 hours at my job. I take Epsom salt baths and use cornstarch powder and stillthere are NO BUMPS! Also, my clitoris is very sensitive. I am a wreak wondering where I got this. I feel betrayed by my friend of 20 years and my BF of 3 years has me 2nd guessing his love and fidelity. Anyone else gone over 2 weeks with 1st OB without the appearance of blisters? I am just waiting on these awful sores I have read about to appear. Is it possible that the Valtrex has stopped this process?

also, We have had unprotected sex for 3 years. and we had sex right after I felt like I had the flu with a low grade fever. He started itching after we had sex but that has spied and he has no symptoms. What are the chances he'll test positive?

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Hi. I totally feel you.

When I had my 1st outbreak, I did not see any bumps, and the burning lasted me a good 3 weeks. What I wish I knew is that the 1st outbreak is always the worst, and None of the other OB's should be that bad. Your body is currently creating the antibodies it needs to, so that it won't go through this pain again.

I also work in the healthcare industry. I work as a nurse, and I remember going into work 2 hours after I got my diagnosis, and was in crazy pain. I'm feeling for you hard right now. I know that mental and physical pain, and boy.. it sucks.

Really though, I want you to know that the pain gets waayy more manageable. My 2nd outbreak was nothing compared to my 1st, and now all I usually get is a tingley sensation when an outbreak is coming on, I take Acyclovir, and it usually goes away.

Also, the mental anguish that I thought would never subside- That's been laid to rest. Herpes only has as much power as you're willing to give it. I know that when you're first diagnosed, it can be a lot to process, but once you come to find out what it really actually is, you'll see that it's not such a powerful virus. As said on this website, it's a skin condition that's in a sensitive area.


I'm wondering about you and your boyfriend. You two have been together for 3 years, and there's questioning on whether or not he's been cheating. This is a huge issue.

It makes a lot of sense that you're questioning him in your mind- knowing that he knows all these facts about herpes. It's not generally something that people know about unless they have it. But: Who Knows. Maybe he had a scare before or just know friends who have it. I would take it as an opportunity to make that point (That he seems to already have a lot of knowledge) and just lovingly ask him how he gained it. It may be an opportunity for a really open, honest conversation.


Also- I wanted to comment on his anger towards your friend. I know you said that you 2 both got tested in the beginning of the relationship and you were both negative for herpes. But- Herpes isn't something that they usually test for. Did you both have blood tests done and specifically ask to get tested for herpes?

It's estimated that 80% of people who have HSV2 don't even know they have it. A lot of people have it, but the symptoms don't show until their immune system is run down in some way.

When it comes to your boyfriend, there is certainly a chance he has it, but who knows. Until he gets tested; there's really no telling. The itching sounds like a prodrome symptom that people usually get before outbreaks. There is always the chance that it could be something else. Time and a blood test will tell.

Whether he's positive or negative, it sounds like you guys need to sit down and talk about your relationship, and see if you guys are on the same page with everything.

Really, use herpes as an opportunity to re-evaluate and give him the opportunity to come clean if he has cheated, or had previous suspicions of having GH.


I hate to think of the position you're in, and my heart really goes out to you. It can be really hard news at first, and especially waiting in limbo to know about your boyfriend's results adds even more difficulty. I invite you to take this time though- take a deep breathe- feel what's right for you and what kind of conversations you feel you need to have with your boyfriend.


If you want some facts about herpes, Adrial made a couple handouts which have some really helpful info.







Lots of love!



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just wanted to say that maybe he is so educated about it because he's like me. for some reason h has always been my biggest fear. literally a phobia. so I would read everything I could about it.. and that's how I knew something wasnt right. because I knew so much about it. I would give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt until you can talk to him. best wishes!

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Thank you Katie for your comments - I've had time to really think about this and the anxiety medication the Dr gave me is helping me get that fog out of my head so I can process this. I have gained some perspective on my situation -


Today begins my 4th week of my first GH OB. I am now really excepting this more and more. So a little more to maybe help others as I have found so much help in reading others stories.


Between 2005 and 2007 my life was a mess. My 20 year marriage was over and I was basically homeless. My first serious relationship after my divorce was with an abusive alcoholic that became unemployed after we moved in together and was not faithful. So, after 3 years of that, I had enough. In Aug. 2009 decided it was time for a change. I lost my job in June 2009 and decided to have STD (including Hsv1/2) testing done in Nov. 2009 (before my insurance lapsed). I knew I was HSV1+ and took all precautions not to spread this. I moved to a new state in Dec. 2009 and had a few encounters (protection used).

In Aug. 2010 I met and fell in love with my BF (he’s 35, I’m 45). And we moved in together almost immediately. He got tested in 2007 by this state’s prison system when he entered and was neg for everything. I was the first and only woman he has been with since he was released in Aug. 2010 (his mother backs this story). We have only had unprotected sex. We did have a 3rd sexual partner after we got together that I recently found out has GH symptoms but never got tested. I have no doubt this came from her. But it doesn’t matter really.


After diagnosing myself with GH before seeing a provider 3 weeks ago, I was hysterical. After seeing my provider for a follow-up, it was confirmed. I am NOW HSV1+/HSV2+. I can remember hysterically crying that my BF of 3 years was going to leave (and I can’t say as I would blame him). I think he considered it. As I left the house to get my results hysterically crying I said, “OMG, I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH!”


I went through 3 days of just crying, then out of the blue, this man came over to me and held me. He pulled me back and asked me what was wrong. I told him I loved him and I was so scared he was going to leave and that I was so very sorry this was happening. Right then and there he pulled me back and said “Look at me. I love you with all of my heart. I am not going anywhere. I am right here and will always be here. We will get through this as we have gotten through every other bump. This is just life baby. You can’t fight life. You can only make the best of what life throws you.” He went on to say that even if he does test neg. he still isn’t leaving. He goes for his test this Tuesday.


Even though I really could not afford to take time off from my job, I mean I REALLY CAN'T AFFORD IT. I did it anyway. JUST FOR ME! I am taking time to process this and to heal my body because I am still in pain and my mind. I am taking time to regain my positive way of thinking, instead of trying to place blame or feel guilty or sorry for myself because I am HSV1/2+. I am still a strong woman and I have overcome a lot more in my life. This will not change who I am. It will however change who I become.

There is still a possibility that my BF changes his mind especially if he does test neg. However, if that does happen, Guess what? I am still going to be fine. I am still going to live my life because I am still ME! And I am the only one that has control over me. No one person, No disease, No infection, Nothing has control over me unless I give it control. I love myself regardless of wither others love me or not.

I am so very thankful that I have support from this man whom never ceases to amaze me. Every moment I fall deeper in love with him. But he doesn't make me who I am. My journey down life's road has taken a side path and that path will take me back to that main road again so I can resume my journey. I have dealt with the stigma of being bipolar since I was 16. I have been rejected by plenty of men after disclosing this. It didn't take my illness away. But I did see how shallow people can really be. I found over the years of dealing with bipolar positive thinking is a benefit that has helped me more than any medication. And over time I am sure I will go with a more holistic approach when dealing with my herpes but today, I chose to deal with the present. I am in less pain than I have been in 3 weeks. I am still alive and I am still able to look myself in the mirror and say out loud, "Today you may look a little rough, but you are still beautiful and I love you."



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