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Hello everyone :)

This is my first post, and I am looking for some insight on how I transmitted genital HSV1.


I was diagnosed a month ago via visual exam, PCR swab, and blood test (igg and igm). The results came back positive for genital HSV1, negative HSV2.


I am soooo confused as to how I contracted this. I have been with one person for the past four years and neither of us has ever shown signs/symptoms. We broke up, and I was intimate with a different guy a few months later. The new guy gave me oral sex and also touched his penis to my labia, and fingered me. We never had sex. Sorry if this is too graphic...

I saw NO sores or anything unusual on his genitals or his mouth.

Ten days after our first intimate encounter, I had my first outbreak.

He swears up and down he has never had any form of herpes.


The REAL clencher is this: three days before my first outbreak, I was at a club and ended up drunkenly making out and briefly was fingered by a different guy. I absolutely regret this. This same guy had unprotected sex with one of my friends, and she did not contract anything from him.


My question is: can you contract genital HSV1 if a guy fingers you? Or is this more likely from the guy who gave me oral? Or what?


I have an appointment in one week to see a specialist in this area, but my conscience is eating me alive. I'm so confused and can't believe I let this happen. I am a very careful person and I just want to know how this could have happened.

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Hey SunnyDays!


Welcome to the forums! I'm glad you're reaching out and getting knowledge. The more of that you get, the less the stigma can get a good foothold on you. ;)


From what you're saying I'd say there's a 99% chance that you got your HSV-1 from him giving you oral sex. 50% of new genital herpes cases are HSV-1 from oral sex:



Oral herpes sheds just like genital herpes sheds. Without any signs or symptoms, the virus can be shedding. Check out the post-disclosure handout here for all the specifics:



P.S. Nothing is too graphic here. Try us. I dare you. ;) What's most important is that we all share what's going on with us so all of us can learn and be the most knowledgeable we can be. That is the only way for us to drop the shame and dispel the stigma.

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Hi Adrial! Thank you so much for the reply and great resources. I have spent many hours Googling anything and everything herpes and am always looking for fresh sources!


Deep down I know it makes the most sense I got this from the oral sex. However, based off his reaction and other circumstances I just keep thinking its not from him. He claims he got his blood tested and all he told me was that his bloods "were okay" and "2 igm negative". Should I ask him again? Argh! Had I not had the drunken encounter on the dance floor, I wouldn't be so confused.


Do you think there is any likelihood the other guy that fingered me could have transmitted it via his saliva? If say, he stuck his finger in his mouth and then touched me? I haven't read anywhere of people claiming that is how they were infected, but I just wonder..

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No, herpes doesn't spread that way. It only spreads with direct skin-to-skin contact. And FYI, IgM tests aren't as good at detecting herpes as the IgG test. He could be a silent carrier. 15-20% of people who carry the herpes virus (that still silently sheds 10% of the time) never have an outbreak, so the only way they could find out that they do have herpes is if they specifically asked for the IgG blood test, which isn't part of regular STD screenings.

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Okay, thank you. I feel like there is a lot of grey area surrounding herpes and it feels really good to be able to bounce my questions off someone in *almost* real time instead of Googling all night!


I really can't disclose much information on here because my situation is very particular, and I am afraid he might recognize me from these posts. With that said, he is aware and knowledgable about all the tests and even said himself that the IgM is crap....which kind of blows my mind thinking about his answer when I inquired about his results...


Anyway! You have definitely helped sort out some of my obsessive thoughts this evening, Adrial. Thanks again.

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Actually I have a question. Last night I went to my friends Bachlorette party and she has Oral Herpes. She is in the stage of remission, and last night she was drinking her drink through a straw and offered me to sip it. I completely forgot that she had herpes and drank a sip from the glass not straw and it was over half filled with ice. Is there a possibility for me to get oral herpes?

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Hey Genven! Short answer: Absolutely not. Even if she was virally shedding, the herpes virus dies once it hits the air. It can only be transmitted with direct skin-to-skin contact, and even then the chances of transmission are below 10%.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ok sorry to bother again. But My mother has a cold sore, and it's scabbed over with red. I hugged her to say good bye, and she kissed my cheek. I guess I am worried that it will come to me. Cause my grandma had Oral Herpes and kissed my mother and gave it to her, but it was open. I guess I am freaking out, because I don't have them. Is there a chance of having them from the kiss on the cheek when scabbed over red?

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