Im freaking out right now!

[Tooscaredrightnow]

I've been positive for about five years now with hsv2. I recently started dating this guy who I have actually known for a while. We have been seeing eachother for about two months. We havent had sex because I am avoiding it and I will not let him go down on me. I am on daily suppressive therapy and I rarely to never get OBs anymore. He has touched me underneath my underwear though. THE PROBLEM IS, I AM HAVING SO MUCH TROUBLE TELLING HIM!!! I DONT KNOW HOW TO! I have told guys in the past and it was so easy and for some reason...This one is the hardest because I think I am in love with him! So I just got an outbreak yesterday for the first time in 5 or 6 months. I am going to see him on wednesday and I know I have to tell him then. I cant keep avoiding sexual contact. I know he is probably going to wonder why eventually because I am so attracted to him on so many levels and we have such a deep connection. Im so scared he is just going to walk now...I just want to cry.

[Tooscaredrightnow]

I'm really going to try and keep all of that in mind, I'm more afraid he will be upset because he has already touched me down there before I told him. I'm telling him tonight, so I am going to stay as positive as possible about everything. I know how to do it, like I've said, I've done it before...but this one is the hardest so far.

[Tooscaredrightnow]

Thank you for your support. It really does help having these forums around, glad I discovered them.

[Sunshineandwhiskey]

Good luck tonight!

[Katidid]

Good luck!

[hippyherpy]

Forst of all, when you aren't having an outbreak, his chances of getting hsv2 in his mouth from eating you is so low, that from what I understand, there are almost no documented cases of people getting herp2 in their mouths. So let him munch the carpet if he wants.

 

Definitely tell him that you got herp and tell him the stat on genital to mouth is almost impossible.

 

That said, don't let him go down on you if you are having an outbreak. If you think it's going to turn into sex, just use the "I'm on my period" excuse for now and then you can disclose to him at a better time. If he keeps pushing for sex after that saying something like he doesn't care if you are on your period, just tell him not tonight.

[DD1234]

I'm a little late to this, but hope everything went well with the delivery! I'm starting to realize, that as scary as it is to tell someone, what's even scarier is living with yourself if you don't. If someone rejects me based off of this, at least I know I did everything I could to be an honest, up front person. I cared about someone else and their health more than I cared about my pride, public view or whatever. If I can love me for that, then someone else out there will too. And if this guy really loves you, or cares about you enough to see if it turns into love, he will hopefully be understanding enough to know why you were hesitant, and to respect you for saying something before you became more intimate. Good luck!

[hippyherpy]

It doesn't have to be "scary as hell" to tell someone you have herpes.

[Katidid]

Hippyherpy.........you are so right and I love the above response! I've read almost all your comments. I am curious how long you have had herpies. How's the protien going? I just had a glass

[hippyherpy]

I take some protein now. Herpes since beginning of the summer, but didn't get breakout until September.

[Tooscaredrightnow]

Okay everyone, so I still haven't told him. I know I am greater than this. I wish I just knew what his reaction was going to be in advance!

[hippyherpy]

What's the worst that could happen? You can't just sit there and hold it in because it's eating you up, so it's better to get it off your chest and just do what needs to some instead of procrastinating.

[Roro]

I recently disclosed to a friend about my herpes, and he told me he was diagnosed as HIV+ about a year ago. He said he had been scared about disclosing his status but that it immediately lets you know if that person is someone you would even want in your life- it lets you know who that person really is. He said his partner needed a beat to process but really cared for him and wanted to continue the relationship because my friend is so great. I haven't disclosed to any potential partners yet- I was diagnosed almost two months ago but haven't been ready to date yet since I'm still dealing with the information and educating myself. But his words helped me, so I hope they help you too. We all deserve love and respect, and if this person cares for you, then they will want to continue loving you. No matter what.

[hippyherpy]

Roro, how did he get HIV?

[Katidid]

Hippyherpy.......so this is pretty new? I'm very impressed with how you handle it. Kudos

[Bambina3]

One of the 2 people I confided in shared with me he was hep c positive...he was afraid to tell me for fear I wouldn't touch him(hug)...They are just as fearful with the stigma as we are.