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Severe Oral Herpes and Depression


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I have HSV 1. I have been getting cold sores for about 3-4 years but at first they were not that bad or that often. Now, the outbreaks are more frequent and I am quite ashamed of the sores. A lot of people who get cold sores say that they only got "really sick" the first time they had an outbreak. It is getting to the point that every time I have a cold sore, I get swollen glands, headaches, fever and tiredness (not to mention the painful sores). Does this happen to other people who get cold sores? Most other people who get them say that they just have the sore. They don't have the whole body sickness like I get.

 

The last episode was pretty awful. I broke out with the blister and developed a fever and weakness. I tried to get up and go to the bathroom and I blacked out. I hit the back of my head on the sink and gave myself a concussion. My wife heard the commotion and helped me up and got me to an urgent care center (I did not want to go hospital). The doctors there felt that this response to herpes virus was severe so they gave me an HIV test to see if my immunity was low due to that (I don't have HIV like I told them--but they just were surprised at how my body reacts to the virus). I was put on generic Valtrex and given something for the pain and fever. I am home resting in bed.

 

Physically, I feel better. But worse than that, is the emotional issue. I don't really like to talk about my feelings much. But, I feel so embarrassed when I get cold sores. I feel disgusting and dirty and my self esteem is very low. It is hard to be intimate with my wife because I feel gross and I don't even want her looking at me. I just want to hide. I know that she knows that I am acting differently...she has not changed. She is beautiful and I love being with her. I just feel so gross that it is hard to feel sexual with someone.

 

Physically and mentally I am exhausted. The doctor wanted me resting anyway due to the concussion and if I get any worse, I have to go to a regular hospital.

 

 

 

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I am so sorry you are going through this.

 

I suggest you go to your doctor and ask to be on daily suppression to help with the frquency and severity of the cold sores.

 

Try to determine if you are eating or drinking anything different or have more stress in your life. Chocolate and alcohol are known triggers as well as stress. Try to limit these along with the medication.

 

I am so happy you have a loving wife to support you. Don't push her away. She loves you and this time especially you need love and intimacy.

 

I understand exactly how you feel. I am dealing with similar things but I don't have the supportive partner.

 

Perhaps you may want to seek therapy or Adrial does coaching sessions to help you out of this difficult time.

 

Hang in there. You are not disgusting. You have a virus and hopefully with meds and changes to diet wtc you will get better. Work on healing your emotional self too.

 

Hugs!!!!

 

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I have an appointment with my regular doctor Friday afternoon and I will ask her for daily suppression because I am tired of this. I have been trying to see what is different in my life but I cannot think of anything. I have been under more stress than this at times and I have not broken out. Maybe the herpes viruses mutates? I don't know. I have been resting and taking it easy. When you have a concussion, you have to rest mentally as well as physically to avoid getting worse. The urgent care doctor also said that if I suffer another blow to my head again before I am healed from this concussion that I could get permanent brain damage or go into a coma. So, I am resting in bed and taking it very easy. I work for myself so i can do this thank goodness.

 

I never cared for alcohol so I don't have much of that at all..only a little wine to celebrate sometimes....sometimes a little vodka but I hate beer. I will have to work on the chocolate thing though! I am still going to keep looking at my diet and life to see what is going on. I haven't been eating much because my mouth hurts but I have been taking lysine and eating applesauce and hot cereals because I need something in my body with the pain pills.I am going to talk to my doctor tomorrow about a good multivitamin.

 

I talked to my wife about how embarrassed the sores made me and how I feel gross...like a walking disease. I started crying which is something I haven't done in ages. She just hugged me and told me that I was not disgusting or ugly at all to her or any other reasonable person. She said we are our own worst critics....if I see someone with a cold sore, I wouldn't say anything about it and if I did think something about it, I'd be like "oh, that looks painful...poor him". But, if someone sees me with a cold sore, I think they are thinking that I am dirty and disgusting. I am thinking the worst when it comes to myself. We can be cruel to ourselves. I didn't want to push my wife away at all. She is very kind to me when I am ill like this. I haven't felt much like sex at all (i.e. tired, head feels like 2 sumo wrestlers are break dancing in it) but we will cuddle or I will have my head in her lap or something. I don't really feel that I need to hide my face around her.

 

Anyway, you are right and your response did make me feel a lot better. I am definitely going to make sure that I really push for the daily suppression because trying to catch it at the "tingle" clearly isn't working for me because the time between "tingle" and "sore" is so fast for me. And I cannot keep having cold sore outbreaks so bad that they cause me to black out. I could seriously injure or kill myself or someone else.

 

Thanks so much for your reply and I hope that your situation improves too!

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@coyotecat

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

I think you *get* that you are beating yourself up over something that isn't that big of a deal in reality - but that doesn't stop us from being, as your wife said, our own worst critic... so I'm pinning a little something below that you may want to print out and put on your bathroom mirror :)

 

I've had oral herpes since I was very young child. Back then it would kick me on my ass a few times a year (though it was never diagnosed... I figured out years later that the 100+ temps and OB's were linked) For some reason it slowed way down when I hit puberty and over the years has become a minor nuisance at times. But I have some photos of me as a kid with horrendous sores on my face. It was just part of my life and I never thought of it as a bad thing.... because noone and nothing taught me to feel that way.

 

So - I would put it out there that this Herpes issue is bringing up stuff that you have stuffed down and ignored from somewhere in your past.... and now you can't hide from it, because it's coming out in another way. Herpes may be making you face whatever it is that you have subconsciously believed from past experience. You may want to try some therapy to see what's there. As @whitedaisies said, @Adrial is an AMAZING coach (I've seen him do his magic in real life and he's a master) and you can do sessions by Skype with him....

 

There's also the Lifestyle Guides

 

Here's the full page on the lifestyle guides:

https://herpesopportunity.com/lifestyle-guides.html

 

... and here are short descriptions of the guide that may help you:

 

Guide #1 Self Care and Self Image: shows you how to not only feel better about yourself and your future, but shift into a empowered and realistic mindset.

 

If you use the code P25 you can get 25% off the cost of the one guide.

 

Hope this helps - I'm going to make a separate post of how to deal with the actual OB's below

 

(((HUGS)))

 

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

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As for the OB's

 

As @whitedaisies said - there can be a lot of reasons you are getting so many.

 

I would go to a Dr and get thoroughly checked out for any underlying issues like high WBC (indicating some other infection) and viral issues and even possible immune issues. Most adults handle HSV1 orally well so your extreme reaction may mean something else is going on.

 

Second, keep a journal of everything you eat, drink, and do, as well as stress levels. You may notice a pattern that pops out at you. I went through a short spell where I had repeated genital Ob's (I hit the jackpot and got both types!) that was aggravated by TRAIL MIX (chocolate and peanuts specifically) .... neither thing usually bothers me but I was in full Peri-menopause and my hormones must have thrown my balance off. So you never know what combination may make things worse.

 

Third - for oral herpes you can try the following things to knock the sores back (and I find with both types, attacking from the outside seems to shorten the whole cycle anyway.)

 

Ammonium Alum - believe it or not, you can find it in some Seasoning aisles ... I'll put a link below for it too. A pharmacist put my mother onto it and it's been my go to for H my whole life... Make a strong solution or put it on neat. It may sting but it dries it right up.

 

A more expensive option that works well is the Oragel Single Dose vials - they are EXPENSIVE but I always carry one because I find if I hit the OB as soon as I feel the first tingle, I can often stop them before they become too obvious. They are meant to be 1 dose but I cover the end with cling film and reuse them till the sore is gone.

 

Bactine is a cheap option too - it's the exact same thing as Oragel Single dose so useful for home use... the Oragel is useful for keeping in your office or whatever.

 

The links below are good for other things that you can use to help - the calendual salve is great for helping the sores to heal once you get them under control.

 

Hope this helps a bit!

 

Links to some of the items suggested in the links

 

http://amzn.to/1CHUzZE Link to Alum

http://tinyurl.com/Aloecream

http://amzn.to/1F10r3V Fractionated Coconut Oil

http://bit.ly/zincsoap Zinc Soap with coconut oil

http://bit.ly/Zinccream

http://bit.ly/Calendula_Salve

http://tinyurl.com/bactine

http://amzn.to/1oUDY2n Chaga Mushroom (to make tea to boost the immune system)

http://tinyurl.com/Oragelsgldose

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