From sad to blood boiling to calm

[Luv2bblonde]

I just found out I had hsv 2 about two weeks ago. My emotions go from sad to blood boiling to calming myself down. I believe stress cause wrinkles lol. I feeling like I'm going crazy! My ex lied to me and said he was clean so you can imagine my shock when the doctor told me I had hpv...to which my bf finally coughed it up that he had it. That was January, the beginning of February I had a horrible uti and yeast infection, which I've never had. I thought the antibiotics gave me a fever and body aches which was an actual side effect. After a month of Broke Down Palace I shaved and had what looked like bad razor burn. Cleared up by the time I saw the doctor so she said I was fine. Broke up with my bf in the mean time. Few weeks ago I had my first real outbreak after shaving again. I cried uncontrollably for a total of 4 days. I told my ex to stop contacting me for now because I'm so emotional and my anger gets directed at him. I have no proof it was him but looking back on our sex life he would deny me for a good two weeks every once in a while. I asked him why he insisted on no condoms if he at least knew he had hpv...and he said, because I wanted you and it's not a big deal. I had a good four letter word for him. I couldn't imagine doing that to someone. My choice was stolen and I don't know how to get over it without wanting to slap the shit out of him.

[WCSDancer2010]

@Luv2bblonde

 

Hello and welcome!

 

So - first - you put HPV a couple times... I assume you meant HSV?

 

That said, you don't mention whether you have HSV 1 or 2. It helps to know that so we can help you to put things into perspective as far as what happened. Also, did you get a blood test, or a swab? That can give us a timeline (if an IgG blood test comes back negative you just got it... but if it's positive you could have carried this for months or years... and don't get an IgM - they are useless.... ).

 

80% of people with Herpes don't know they have it. So it IS possible he didn't know he had it if he gave it to you.

 

AND

 

If he knew, it's just plain fact that many people have bought into the stigma so much that they are scared stupid of telling their partner because they are convinced that NO ONE will EVER love them if the tell the truth. That doesn't make the behavior ok... but it helps to understand *why* people don't disclose. And if he has minor OB's, then that kinda gives people the feeling that it's really "no big deal" anyway which they use as more "excuse" for the behavior. Again, not that it's ok, but it helps to see their perspective,

 

AND

 

It just plain sucks that you were not given the choice in the matter. Unfortunately most of us wont insist on making our partners have a test (and show us the results) before we have sex.... so sex really is just plain risky..... even with that men can carry HPV and never know it...because there's no test for men for that.

 

Point being, if we are sexually active, if we aren't in LTR's (where we both get tested first), we are ALWAYS going to be at risk of getting *something*. Heck - I even have a female client who had her FIRST OB after 30+ yrs of marriage. Hubby is H-. She carried it all that time and never knew it.

 

Knowing all this may help you to put all this into perspective... I hope it will at least! Yes, it sucks. But it's not the end of the world. I've had HSV2 for over 35 yrs ... and oral HSV1 since childhood. And I don't let it run my life.

 

Finally - it's ok to go through the anger and upset right now. That's normal. Just don't let it consume you and don't hold onto it. At some point you have to let it go. To do so is like swallowing poison and hoping the other person dies.... it only hurts YOU. So process the anger, (which may mean allowing yourself to be REALLY angry for a short while!) ... then let it go... move on ... get educated and learn to control it and live with it. Anything else is only going to hurt YOU more....

 

 

(((HUGS)))

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6070/it-gets-better great tips for newbies

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2886/herpes-yoga-and-self-love

 

[Luv2bblonde]

He disclosed the HPV when he was basically cornered. Then February was when the herpes came into play. I got a swab but no blood test. My only concern is that the doctors office said, oh its in the genitals so it's HSV 2. I'm not sure if that's a legit test or a guess on their end. The doctor wasn't very informative. I know that either can be down there so I'm going to find a STD specialist and get blood tests if needed or other treatment and info through them. Thanks!

[WCSDancer2010]

SMDH

 

Just because it's on the genitals doesn't make it HSV2. 50% of all new genital cases are HSV1 - usually from oral sex. Time to get a new Dr.

 

Go to an OBGYN or Planned Parenthood --- OB is preferable - PP is *usually* on the mark but I've heard a few incidences of idiocy from a few people on here from a PP Dr.

 

and with HPV - there are 40 kinds of HPV... though if he knew he had it likely it was Genital Warts as that's the only one that has a visible effect on men and you can't test men for the other ones. The CDC reckons that anyone who is at all sexually active will get at least 1 type of HPV in their lifetime ... so you just have to hope you get one of the relatively minor ones (only about 4-6 cause cancer, the rest just give you a good scare!)

 

(((HUGS)))

[Luv2bblonde]

Thanks so much for all your help!