i guess it could be worse

justcme · May 10, 2016

my story-

i fell in love hard and fast, trusted the guy, was told we were going to get married.

he got me a ring and everything! i paid for the venue, we were planning then. i got herpes, i didnt cheat he was the only one i was with. he denied giving it to me, i then found out he was cheating on me. i left him then also found out i was pregnant. i kept the child i love him hes an awesome little boy. i want to date again but i feel like i come with so many problems and baggage. its hard enough to get a guy to talk to you when you have a ki, no one wants that drama (not that i have any its just me and my kiddo!) i have a awesome job i make like 55k/yr i take care of myself and son i own my own car, house, i dont need a man in my life but oh do i want one. i get some guys who are cool with a kid, then i tell them about herpes and they jet. it sucks i understand why, nobody wants herpes, not that its that bad but its gotten a horrible reputation, what sucks is i got mine from someone elses infidelity. i just dont know what to do its hard to not be depressed to not feel like im alone. the only thing that keeps me from basically drinking constantly and spiraling is my son. ive never been a person who had to deal with rejection and now this rejection is a kick in the gut every time.

WCSDancer2010 · May 10, 2016

Have to keep this short but want you to know you are not alone, you have found an amazing place to get educated and find support.

I suggest you read all the Success Stories that you can.... because we have tons of them from H+ who found love with H- partners. Herpes isn't a death sentence ... for you or your love life. I got HSV2 from my first sexual experience at 17 ... at 55 life is pretty damn fine and H has only caused me a few speed bumps in my path of life.

So - here's the thing. Kids can be a deal breaker. So can Herpes. And Debt. And Illness. And Body Type. And Age. And Sexual Preferences (I've lost 2 potential guys to the fact that I wasn't into their kind of kink!). The list goes on and on. I have BOTH kinds of Herpes and my father is moving in with me soon.... so odds are HE will be another deal breaker for many guys.

AND

It isn't a reflection on you when you get "rejected"... So don't take it personally. I'll bet you have turned down guys for at least one of those on the list up there, or other reasons.... it's easy to blame everything on H when you get turned down, but I say that H is the best Wingman ever... (and no, I haven't lost my mind!) ...

You see, the men that were ok with your kids were more interested in getting INTO you than getting into YOU. **Think about that one** The links below will help you to get more clarity on that perspective :)

Gotta go - work calls...

(((HUGS)))

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/rejection_its-all-about-perspective/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6070/it-gets-better great tips for newbies

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2886/herpes-yoga-and-self-love

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/using-herpes-as-your-wingman/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/5897/my-first-disclosure-story#latest Wingman example

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3309/successful-herpes-disclosure-but-not-for-the-reasons-you-might-think (Herpes Wingman example Mazedaze818 )

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/6347/my-disclosure-story 2 very different reactions … but both are “successful” in their own ways :)