[Video] About Herpes Life

[Guest]

I tortured myself for years around this whole genital herpes thing. Now I recognize that ultimately it was a decision I made to make myself the victim ...

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[Winchester]

Well in a nutshell, the problem isn't so much about outbreaks of Herpes, but what HSV has the potential to do to our relationships. This nut which I am holding is called "responsibility." It has a hard core centre called fear. The most damaging problem is falling for someone who does not have the Herpes virus and then before we get further involved, having to tell them that I have it, and risk their walking away. We have to be able to face the pain of that.

[WCSDancer2010]

True - but what happens if someone rejects you because of other reasons? I mean, I have deal breakers when I am on dating sites. Age (at 52, I don't want to date men who are significantly older than me... been there, done that... ready to play with guys my own age), Kids (mine are grown and having had a bad experience with someone with teens, I just don't want to get involved with someone with Adolescent Hormones in the house ;) ), Smoking, etc. Why is Herpes any worse than those things when it comes to rejection?

 

Because we see Herpes as something that defines us in a negative way. Those other things don't hold that power on us. But when we learn to let go of that shame and stigma, then the fear of rejection is no worse than when we are talking about any of the other things that might not be what someone else wants to be involved with. :)