Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

Will I ever let go?


Recommended Posts

My friends are sick of hearing about it.

I'm sick of thinking about it.

I'm sick of missing my ex who I think gave me H (can't be sure)z

I'm sick of crying in bed alone over a year after we broke up because I descovered he had stolen all my money and was a gambling addict.

 

I want so desperately to meet some who I trust enough to disclose to.

But I can't, and I won't because I'm absolutely madly in love with my ex who has now blocked my number, still hasn't paid me back and is playing happy families with his new girlfriend.

 

The pain I feel is devastating. And if it wasn't for H I know I'd have had a rebound to help me move on.

 

I'm trying desperately to accept that I'm alone and contemplating living alone/ not having children/ my dream life never really becoming a reality.

 

I know that this isn't completely a herpes related problem. But it sure feels lonely out here... With no one who wants to be close to me and no one I trust to be close to.

 

The thought of always feeling like this is very frightening.

Link to comment

What about a distraction? Do you have any hobbies or things you like to do? I think that we are the only ones that can decide if we've had enough and pull ourselves out of it.

 

And if you can't do it yourself, think about therapy.

 

You can have all the things you said you can't. But you have to decide/know you're worth it. And you are.

 

Have you watched any of the videos? I would start there.

Link to comment

The first year is the hardest after a break up, them add herpes on top of it. First of all, herpes doesn't define who you are. I been in your shoes exactly. Over a year later and herpes still on my mind. Mostly wishing I didn't have it and fear of passing it on. But it hasn't stopped me from having fun and enjoying myself. Took time to get to this point. Far as the guy, every activity you do with out him will remind you of him. It is perfectly natural to attached all the emotions you are feeling to the last one you brought them to you. It's like you are grieving the dream you desire with someone, anyone. Girl, the dream is still there. It didn't go anyplace. The roadblock is yourself. Start rediscovering YOU! Doing fun things, pampering yourself and being the best you can be. Start liking yourself once again. Start putting yourself out there, meeting new men. Want to get back at him? Him seeing you moving on, being just fine, dong things and not contacting him is the best revenge. Trust me, he is thinking of you. Knows his faults and carries quilt and shame. Might not seem like but as a man they keep these things quite.

 

Take a road trip by yourself. Driving the unknown road facing whatever comes your way is empowering. Have no fear because the people you meet only see the outer shell, and gets glimpses of your personality through laughs, smiles and kindness. Rewarding to both.

Link to comment
I descovered he had stolen all my money and was a gambling addict.

 

I want so desperately to meet some who I trust enough to disclose to.

But I can't, and I won't because I'm absolutely madly in love with my ex who has now blocked my number, still hasn't paid me back and is playing happy families with his new girlfriend.

 

So - sounds like you have a kind of co-dependent link to him... in which case I strongly suggest you get in some therapy... or even better work with our amazing @Adrial and/or purchase the Lifestyle guides. They are designed to help you to work through everything you have been dealing with this last year or so..... I'd guess that you would do best to do the guides and have a few Skype consults with Adrial .... your friends don't know what to say, or how to help. That's why a professional like Adrial is often the best route....because he'll know what to say and how to say it to help you get to the bottom of why you are still attached to a guy who is a thief, a liar, and a general jerk.

 

If you want to try the Guides, you can use these codes to reduce your cost: P25 is for 25% off each single guide or P50 is for 50% off if you buy them all. Just put it in on the "coupon code" box in the shopping cart.

 

And if it wasn't for H I know I'd have had a rebound to help me move on.

 

Nope Nope Nope. If anything, it's likely better you didn't play the rebound game. I've been on the other side of that (TWICE) and it SUCKS to be the Rebound Chick. AND, that's often when we make REALLY bad choices with regards to partners.... so like it or not you are probably better for not having gone there.

 

I'm trying desperately to accept that I'm alone and contemplating living alone/ not having children/ my dream life never really becoming a reality.

 

I know that this isn't completely a herpes related problem. But it sure feels lonely out here... With no one who wants to be close to me and no one I trust to be close to.

 

The thought of always feeling like this is very frightening.

 

@Stillmebutwiser hit the nail on the head

 

Girl, the dream is still there. It didn't go anyplace. The roadblock is yourself. Start rediscovering YOU!

 

The roadblock is yourself.

 

Couldn't have said it better myself. AND, I feel your pain. Went through a breakup like this myself. Took me well over a year to begin to pull out of it. AND, I've come out of it FAR stronger than I ever was. I attribute a lot of that to discovering West Coast Swing dance and throwing myself into that, and taking myself all over to pursue it. In doing that I found ME. And I really like ME now! I know who I am and I'm actually really comfortable alone now (which hasn't always been how things are for me).

 

Right now you are not in a place to meet a man. I agree with the others. Join Meetup.com and find something to do that brings you joy. Just go have fun. Meet people. Find your passion. Put the asshat behind you and fall in love with YOURSELF... and odds are when you do that, Mr Wonderful will appear.... right now he's not able to see you because you are under a cloud of despair and sadness. Summer is upon us - get out and seize life!

 

What are your passions? What brings you joy????

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...