Need honest answer, super paranoid about spreading HSV-1

[hellohello]

Good morning, I have been a cold sore sufferer since I was a little kid, probably from my mom. Growing up I got them sporadically, but my parents downplayed it so it was never really a concern for me. Over the last several years I still get OBs some of which are horrific. Again, didn't really give it much thought, I'm not concerned about the social stigma. However, since I have been married for 10 years and now have 3 small children, I find my self overcome with constant terror that I will spread it to my children and/or wife. I know the general rule of growing up, no kissing with one, no sharing, and always wash your hands after touching it. Like an idiot, I did a lot of research on HSV-1 online and now I am terrified that those steps are not enough. I have read in several places that my saliva carries the virus and that I will spread it even without an OB. In order to prevent my family from getting these awful things I have gone to extraordinary measures to prevent it. Even without an outbreak, I don't share anything or even kiss my kids. I occasionally kiss my wife but again I am scared of passing it to her. When I have an OB I won't even talk until it is gone and then a few days after for fear that when I speak, my saliva may come out and hit someone in the eye or contaminate something that my kids will touch and then have the virus on their hands or clothes. I take Valltrex only when I have an OB which does very well in reduction. However, given that stress induces these things, I am constantly stressed about passing them which has made my OBs more frequent. it used to be once a year maybe, now it's 3 times or more a year. I take so many supplements to inhibit the virus, Lysine, multi-vitamin, B complex, D, E, everything to avoid these things. I know the majority of people get them but I hate knowing that my kids would get this and get ridiculed the same way I was growing up, and even worse, undergo the pain I have through the years from the oOBs themselves. Am I being paranoid about everything and the spreading? I am also scared to even shower with water on my face for fear it will pass to other parts of my body, even without an OB. I don't eat food during an OB for fear it's on my hands. I am tired of being paralyzed with this fear without knowing for sure. I hate these things. This is the only missing element in my life. If only I could make peace with it, everything else is perfect. I wish a cure or vaccine would be developed already. Please advise. Thank you.

[WCSDancer2010]

@hellohello

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

Honey, you are waaaay overstressing this thing! And that is likely making things worse when it comes to frequency of OB's. Dr Google is not the best place to get your info.

 

So - it's a holiday weekend, and I'm going to try to keep this short, but to your fears:

 

1) Herpes is NOT in the saliva - it's spread from skin to skin contact. So please feel free to talk to and laugh with your family during an OB.

 

2) Has your wife been tested for HSV1? Odds are she hasn't. I'd get her tested because there's an 80% chance she has it anyway and doesn't know it... because 80% of people with H don't know they have it.

 

3) With as long as you have had H, you can't spread it to other parts of your body - you now have the antibodies to it to protect you. Auto-inoculation is only an issue during the first few months after you get H and even then only a very small number of people manage to accomplish spreading it elsewhere. Besides, soap kills H very quickly. So feel free to wash your face as much as you want and eat with your hands as much as you want. Herpes dies very quickly outside of the body anyway.... so even if you get it on your hands odds are it will be dead in minutes. I'd only take extra caution when you have an OB to wash hands more simply so you don't get it in the nail beds which is the only thing I'd see as a potential issue. Even then it's rare.

 

4) As far as you worrying about your kids: 60% of young people have oral HSV1 by the time they are young adults and most likely get it either from another kid or a doting Auntie who kissed them when she had an OB. The odds of you passing it to them (given that you know better than to do anything with an OB and that you need to practice good NORMAL hygiene like hand washing) is next to nil. I have 2 grown daughters who are HSV- even though have had BOTH kinds all their lives (I got H1 as a kid as well) and I never even thought to do anything more than just not kiss them when I had an OB.

 

5) Please KISS your wife and stop holding back. Odds are if she has not got it orally by now (from you or anyone she dated in the past) she won't get it now as long as you don't kiss her with an OB. You need to be more cautious around oral sex but that is something you need to work up to at this point. I'd rather see you at least be calmer around everything else first and then we can discuss oral sex with you more.

 

This blog may help you a bit :)

 

(((HUGS)))

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/toilets-towels-and-touching-oh-my/