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Dang it, a rejection


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Posted

So this is a good one, or maybe this has happened and I just haven't come across it. Met a nice guy online. Good chatting, fun texting. We decide to meet. The day of the meet, he texts me that he wants me to know he has HPV. I say, ok, I have HSV and don't normally disclose this early but since he did... - still game? He then let's me know that he is depressed enough to have HPV and doesn't want to risk anything else. I am more or less fine with this as we had not even met yet, so we may not have jived anyway. And at first, as I process, I get it, this guy already has one thing - does he need another. And I even thought to myself, do I want to go down that route of chancing a second issue - part of me was all about no, but then I liked him and was having fun communicating with him, so I was willing to at least meet him to see if it was more than just a fun thing.

 

So the funny part is that I feel bad for him that he is depressed about having this thing and the nurturer in me wants to reach out and tell him not to be depressed about having this thing. I want to help him know it's one way of sifting through the people in your life that mean something or may not. But then it's awkward cause he rejected me! Hahaha. I am laughing as I type this. So I can't help this poor guy feel better about the fact that he has an STD cause I have one that he doesn't want to get, cause he already has one and doesn't want two!

 

Life is grand, ain't it.

Posted

Just going to add that given time to reflect. I am feeling the burn. Not a flame, but a mild scorch. Who the hell is he to say I am not worth pursuing even with this, shit you have one too!! Oh well, just needed to vent. Tomorrow is another day after all. :)

Posted

How ironic! It could have been something to bond over but it didn't work that way. It kinda strikes me as he's hoping someone will accept his STD and yet he isn't willing to do the same. (Selfish). Maybe he'll come around in time.

 

Do you guys still have the texting and fun conversations? Because if he bailed completely then I'd say you dodged an ass :)

 

Posted

Actually we did end of texting more. We will see. I know sometimes rejection is such a knee jerk reaction for some people. To be perfectly honest, I certainly don't want to add more STD's to my plate either.... :)

Posted

Hi julia_l. Thanks for your post and concern. And I can tell you that I don't take his having HPV lightly. It's funny, I know everything there is to know about HSV but virtually nothing about any of the others. Also, if I understand it correctly, he must have the warts cause otherwise, it is not permanent? Hard to really tell. In any event, things have started to die down naturally, so it may not be an issue. Again, thank you for your concern.

Posted

I suppose my question is...why hasn't he gone to the doctor for treatment of his hpv? It is treatable and curable....I had hpv years ago, and I know of a man that had hpv and had the spots removed...has he been proactive with his healthcare and ask a doctor about removable? Freezing?? Etc.

HSV from my experience so far, just throwing it out there in general convo getting feedback definitely has the stigma because it's incurable...

Good luck

Posted

I'm going to weigh in on the HPV. He may not have the genital warts strain of HPV? I don't remember if you clarified that. If he doesn't, there may be nothing to "treat" and HPV is NOT curable. What happens is the virus seems to go dormant (Not latent like HSV) as your immune system battles it. They say your system "Clears" it. And if I'm not mistaken this takes a couple of years.

Posted

HPV (human papillomavirus) is very common. About 80 million people in the U.S. are affected. About 40 of the 100 HPV types are transmitted sexually. This HPV transmission can cause genital warts or abnormal cell changes in the cervix and other genital areas that can lead to cancer.

While there is no cure for HPV, the good news is the infection often clears on its own. If it does not, and treatment is needed, there are many HPV treatment options.

 

Copied from webmd, I hope that helps....HPV can be removed from the body, HSV and HIV are the only 2 STDS that I am aware of that are incurable and lifelong.

 

Someone correct me if I'm wrong.

 

I had the HPV strain that caused abnormal cell growth not warts. It was surgically removed and my tests have been negative since.

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