How to discuss herpes

[minnejojo]

Hello! I am a 21 year old female. I recently found out I have HSV1. I am a college student so I am constantly around young people laughing and joking about STDs. I feel extremely uncomfortable anytime someone quotes The Hangover saying "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, except for herpes, that will come back with you". Also, just today many of my classmates were joking about a guy that slept with a teacher allegedly and how he got herpes from her. Their comments made me feel sick to my stomach. Talking about how dirty she was, how disgusting herpes is, and so on. I guess what I am getting at is that these situations have already come up more than a handful of times and each time I sit there silently hoping to disappear. Does anyone have advice on what to do or say in these situations? I am not exactly ready to go public about my herpes but I just wish people were better educated and understood the impact their words have.

Thanks!

[WCSDancer2010]

Well, for one thing, the version you have happens to be the same thing as a cold sore but in a different area. The same thing that 80% of the population has orally, and that 60% of young people have before they are adults.

 

So you can always ask how many of your friends have cold sores, and point out that you have learned that the cold sore virus is basically the same thing as the one that people get on the genitals... and that anyone who is into oral sex is taking a risk of getting or giving it genitally. And that 80% of people with herpes don't know they have it because it's not tested for even when you ask for a "Full" STD panel. You can always preface all this that you decided you should get educated about these things and that you learned a lot that they didn't tell you in High School Sex Ed.

 

You can point them to Ella Dawsons' TED Talk because she's a recent college grad who is very open about her status so they can see that their perception is off regarding "who" gets herpes.

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/ella-dawson-herpes-ted-talk_uk_573989c5e4b0f0f53e3661a5?edition=uk

[WCSDancer2010]

This is another great link to pass on to people so they get a reality check

 

http://projectaccept.org/who-gets-hsv/