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This kinda sucks

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Should I be tested? My husband has both oral and genital herpes. I've never had symptoms. Both have been faithful.


If someone had a cold sore on the lips, can we still kiss? Would contact with the virus cause the other to develop a cold sore eventho they already have the same strain?


My husband has had cold sores all his life, he probably got it from his family, they all get them. I've never had one, neither has anyone else in my family. I was very young when I met him. And like many others were uneducated about this until now... I thought it was like canker sores, everyone gets them. But he did tell me that I could catch the virus, but I didn't care, to me it wasn't a STD.


He's always been very paranoid of giving it to me and ashamed when one does pop up. I tell him it's no big deal, no one cares, etc. If I got one I wouldn't really care.


Years later, we learned that oral herpes can Be passed to the genitals. I didn't know that. So, then he never did oral on me and never let his saliva get anywhere.


So, it's been 10 Years now. He'll get a bump near or on his junk and freak out every so often, go to the doctor, and it's never herpes. The doctor actual had to explain to him when you get older that the appearance of your penis will change, lol. But then One day it was herpes...


I went to the same doctor that day. I anticipated getting the blood test, I've never had symptoms anywhere.


The visit didn't really go as expected. She told me I'm pretty much guaranteed that I have it. It would basically be a waste of money to test because it would only show wether or not I've been exposed, which we already knew that I had been. I may never show symptoms. That we shouldn't change anything ( although we never did discuss our sexual habits).


She basically talked me out of the test. Reminding me that since we've been together and faithful for so many years that the results shouldn't matter if we love eachother.


But, after leaving, I regretted not being tested. That I cannot just go on her word. I need some proof it's bothering me. It seems like knowing which strains we may or may not have would be important.


I plan to get the blood test soon. Seems irresponsible for the doctor to talk me out of it. If I do happen to be negative for one, I'll make him get tested. If I'm positive for both then I won't care anymore.


After research, I'm starting to think that we have both strains. But the doctor told him it's the same thing on his lip. Which I asked her about that. I thought it was unlikely for oral to go to genitals. Herpes dosen''t travel around the body it had to come in contact with the virus on the skin. She told me that eventually everyone with oral herpes will get it on the genitals eventually.



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Well, in a way I agree with the doctor. Not 100% but 50/50. I can see why you want to know, and yet, since you are in a (happy?) relationship, sometimes ignorance is bliss. What happens after the testing? Even if it wouldn't change things for you, it might for him. But again, I understand you wanting to know.


Anyway, If you both have oral herpes, and one of you has a breakout, I don't think that would automatically mean the other would follow if they came into contact with it. All H+ people I know with cold sores usually refrain from kissing during that time, so I can't really answer that one.


So what was his results on the genital? Was it HSV1? If by some chance you have gotten oral HSV1 that would explain why he had a genital infection. Meaning you passed it to him through oral. I disagree with the doctor that because you have oral you will eventually get genital. That is not true. 50% of new genital herpes cases are from someone with oral HSV1 giving oral sex. Since you already know he has cold sores, and you both have been faithful, that is the only scenario that really makes sense. Unless he was carrying HSV2 the entire time and never knew (Has he ever had a blood test? Have you?)


Best of luck. If you decide you have to have the answers, you could go to a clinic like planned parenthood and just tell them you've been exposed and want a blood test for both HSV1 and HSV2. And although I hate to say it, if you've never had a blood test yourself, and you had sex before him, there is a possibility you may have already had the virus yourself.

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You said he had both oral and genital herpes...but oral (hsv1) can also be in the genital area...so was he tested and confirmed hsv1 and hsv2 positive?

Sure it would help if you were tested....if you came back negative and didn't want to continue to take the chance of contracting the virus...there are ways to protect yourself (antivirals, condom usage).....

If you don't care, then there really is no need to know...if it's not going to change the outcome of your behavior.

Good luck !!

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was he tested and confirmed hsv1 and hsv2 positive?


No, wasn't tested at all. She looked at him and said "Its herpes, Ive been doin this for 30 years"


I don't really understand why she talked us out of the test. Maybe she assumed we are broke because we don't have insurance But we are willing to pay whatever it cost out of pocket. After researching I also regretted not having him swabbed.





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You both should get blood tested so you know who has what strain. It does make a differwnce for protection purposes to know. You may not decide to do anything about it but you will be educated and perhaps he will not worry anymore about giving it to you and you can enjoy oral sex again if you both have it.


My advice is to get a western blot done through westover heights clinic by Terri Warren. Type 1 is very tricky to appear on a blood test and there at times are a greater risk of false negatives. Happened to me.


Also with the potential of his herpes being type 1 on lips and type 2 on genitals the best test is the western blot.


He may have type 1 on his genitals and type 1 orally. That happened to me.


Good luck. If your doctor won't blood test u go to someone who will. That's insanity.

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She didn't swab him? What in the world?! I think that is odd as heck and I would not take that as a diagnosis. The western blot that they are talking about above is the best test, but it's also pricey. If you can cover both of you, then go for it. If not, you can get tested the normal way (antibody testing for HSV1 and HSV2). Or, if he has another incident where he thinks he's having a breakout, take him somewhere that they are willing to do a swab.


Whitedaisies said it perfectly.. insanity!

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Just for peace of mind I think you should both go get blood test (type specific ) that way there is no question. My husband and I have been together 20yrs. We just got tested as I knew I had H, but had never been tested to see which type and I've had it over 30 yrs. We always use condoms during intercorse and nothing for oral which we do most of the time. Hv2 is very rarely ever passed on orally.... very, very rare. My husband gets jock itch often so I got to wondering if jock itch might actually be H that he got from me. He is negative for both types and I am hvs2 positive. We are carrying on as usual except I've been in anti viral now since April just to bring my 5 outbreaks per yr to zero. Have not had one ob after starting anti viral. It would just be good to know if you have it/don't have it, which type etc. You may get to start having oral with no worries.

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