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Gave it to my daughter?

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I'm absolutely terrified. After finally getting a diagnosis after atypical symptoms for over 7-8 years.... I'm now terrified I gave it to my daughter somehow. She is only 8. Saw her getting out of the pool yesterday and noticed she had a sore on her bottom right where the bathing suit edge would be. I've thought of the possibility of a bug bite.... But how uncommon is that in that area? She said it itches and really hurts. There has never been any foul play and she never went to daycare or slept over at anyone's house. I am so protective of her because she is my only child and my whole heart. Is it possible she may have contracted it from a toilet seat? Taking her to the doctor today but dying inside.

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She can't get it from a toilet seat, and I'd argue that a bug bite there isn't unusual (or a million other types of sore). How did you get your diagnosis, and what type was it? Just try to calm down, don't get yourself worked up - from what youve said, it's almost impossible.

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I know. It's just my worse fear. I'm worried because sometimes I get outbreaks on the thighs as well... And since i didn't know what they were what if she sat in my lap at some point and contracted it. She was itchy last week and I noticed discharge on her underwear but just chalked it up to being in a wet bathing suit all week.

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I second Sil's post. She can't get it from a toilet seat. I completely understand your fear, when my girls were little I had two incidences that made me freak out. One-my youngest was about a year old and broke out in blisters all over her vagina and butt. I was as worried as you are, thinking I somehow transmitted it to her through my pregnancy/her birth and they missed it. It was juice. She couldn't handle it unless it was very diluted.


A second scare was when my middle one was about 8, she was itching horribly and I asked if she was having any issues and if she was comfortable if I looked. OMG i freaked, never seen anything like it. Her vagina was literally a scab. From top to bottom. Poor kid. I took her in for an exam and the doctor didn't even blink. It was group B strep.


From that point on, I studied H. I wanted to know all the risks and possible ways to transfer it. The more you know, the more your mind will be at ease. I highly doubt you have given her H. If by some slim chance you have somehow transmitted it, you didn't know. But my bets are it's something else.


Since it is atypical and on your thighs, I would try to keep the area covered during an outbreak. I do not think you will have to worry at any other time, I doubt shedding would apply to that area.


I will be looking for your update :)

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Thank you MMissouri! I took her to the doctor and they were not worried about herpes because they said it would be in clusters.... In my case I have not always found that to be true, so it only eased my mind mildly. Part of my anxiety is the road I have taken in my own diagnosis lastly so long and driving me to the point where I am untrusting of doctors. Even Terri Warren was doubtful when I talked to her about it.


But here I am, and I have it. The logical part of me knows that you can't get it from surfaces, lap sitting etc but the emotional part of me always thinks what if. What if I sat on the toilet seat and one of the lesions was draining and I didn't notice and then she (because you know how kids wait at the door the minute you go) went and sat down right after me. That is the location of her mark... Right at the middle between thigh and buttocks. I am definitely going to do what I can to cover my thighs as I have been doing lately.


Is it possible to post pictures on here or in private message. Maybe a second opinion from someone who actually has it too would ease my mind?

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I know your fears.


I have and continue to feel them.


I believe I gave my daughter oral h. She sleeps like a princess with her hands folded my her cheek and she has itchy bumps on her hands. I believe it has spread there. I notice she gets ear pain before she gets tiny clusters of pimples on her cheek.


Orally I am upset she has it. My worry is now I think she has it on her fingers and petrified about her going to bathroom.


But honestly there is nothing I can do. She's 7. If she was older I can say when u have itchy bumps let mommy know and I will put a bandaid on them. I have said that but u know kids. Now I notice she is sleeping with her hands folded between her thighs and petrified it will spread to fenital. I try to move her hands at night. I can't put her in gloves at night. It's rodiculous. I don't know what th hell to do and I just wish they would get q damn vaccine already. This is totally ridiculous.


If this bullshit spreads to her genitals I will totally lose it.

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@girlnamedhope I can completely understand you doubting the doctors, especially as your case was not the norm. And since it isn't the norm, I'm thinking the rules are slightly different for you. If you get lesions on the bottom of your thighs or where they could possibly drain onto a surface, and you are worried, why not keep some type of cleaning wipes next to the toilet? You could do a quick wipe of the seat when you are finished. I'm not saying you should do this religiously out of fear- but more so just a peace of mind.


@whitedaisies, I think you should have the bumps checked out. What if it's something simple and you are worrying over nothing? There are hundreds of skin conditions out there.. please remember that not everything is herpes.


This thread makes me kind of sad. All this worry over every bump. If you did not have herpes, would your mind even go there?

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I am not worried I gave her genitsl hwrpes. I know that's prettt impossible. My worry is her oral hwrpes can spread. She's only 7 especially id now she has on her hand. These bumps are not typical kesions and no doctor will say it's h. I am not bothering going to doctor bc there is no fluid to awab on her fingers. I am not happy she may have oral h from me but I can live worh that. Everyone has it. Maybe it will protect her from ghsv1 when she's older. My worry is her spreading it. I don't know how long she has had oral h. And we know what diagnosis is like for atypical signs


When children are very young it's difficult. You can't control what they do as much.


If this happened to my 14 year old. Wouldn't worry as much. hey when u get bumps on UR fingers be careful wiping yourself. They are old enough to comprehend.


It's not a sad post. It is a concerned mothers post. I do not worry over every bump. I worry over these bumps. I have 3 kids...I don't worry for the other two. They haven't showed signs.


Yes my mind would go there if I didn't have h. Oral h is very common and can spread easily in children.



Feel like you were judging in your comments. Saying it's sad we are worried about every bump. And a bit condescending. Would you worry if you didn't have h?


I know it wasn't UR intention to come across like that but you kind of painted us as xeaZu overprotective mothers who can't find logic or reason in their child's condition. That is not the case


I don't want to get in a whole long discussion about it.


Hwrpes is sad. When people get it it's hard. When children get it it's particular hard. That's it.

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@MMissouri I totally am going to do that from now on as far as the toilet seat. Where my mind is at now though is what if she already has it. If it were not for the location and complaints of itching and discharge my mind would never have gone to H. My nerves are a wreck. Was reading on another forum of a mom who was positive for HsV 2 and gave it to her daughter somehow. Child protective services came and took the child for almost a whole year until they would prove it wasn't the mothers fault. Scary stuff. Not to mention I never want my child to go through the same thing I have.

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@whitedaisies.. To answer your question - no, I wouldn't worry about spreading H to my kids if I didn't have it. And now I can even say I don't worry about spreading it even though I do.


If you read my first post, I've been there with the concerns. I had two instances that freaked me out.. Blisters/scabs and genital areas. How much worse can you get? So why would I be dismissing other peoples concerns when I've been there myself. Yes, I find it sad that this diagnosis has ALL of us at one time or another, questioning if we have somehow infected our kids.


You said "Oral H is very common and can spread easily in children". And you are very right, since most people contract oral H in their childhood. And if you just listen for a moment (although you don't want a long discussion about it) most of those kids have no idea they have it, or how to prevent transmitting it, and yet how many of those children have outbreaks all over their bodies??




@girlnamedhope how does the bump it look now? I'm going to take a leap and try not to offend you, but could she possibly have a yeast infection? You said she was in a wet suit for awhile right? Itching and discharge makes me think some type of infection. (The bump could be unrelated).


Something else that could ease your mind is if this is an outbreak, and her first, don't you think she'd be having worse symptoms? I am in no way (I want to clarify this) dismissing your concerns, just trying to point out other possible (hopefully helpful) things it could be.

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So I asked three doctors at work today.... Showed them all the pictures.... They all disagreed on what they thought it was. And although they didn't mention herpes as one of the possibilities... It still worries me that she has a bump of mystery in that location!

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Hello and Welcome!


OK - 35+ yr veteran here.... with 2 daughters and a granddaughter. Who had H when we had NO real info to go on. I have both oral 1 AND genital 2 H. I did everything "wrong". At least I did everything that someone in your shoes would be convinced that would be "dangerous". I had baths with them. I shared towels with them. I snuggled with them. I didn't take anything more than standard commons sense precautions that one would do as far as hand washing and the like. And they never got it from me.


My granddaughter had repeated sores on her as a baby that turned out to be a staph infection. Never figured out where THAT came from. Thankfully they managed to finally get it under control.


Point being, there are TONS of different types of skin rashes and infections and its HIGHLY unlikely that your daughter got herpes from you. Your risk of her being injured in a car accident or getting a fatal Flu infection from you are FAR higher. And to be honest she has a 60% risk of getting oral HSV1 from another kid before she's an adult.


Keep an eye on it - if it starts to weep, ask for them to swab it for H AND for a staph infection. Odds are it will come back negative for both. Odds are it's a bug bite or something and it will pass and she will be fine. I have a blog about this subject because it pains me to see mothers so freaked out when there are plenty of other (worse!) things that you are likely to do to put your child at risk of death or disease. ... it's part of life. All you can do is maintain common sense cleanliness habits and right there you reduce the risk of passing *anything* on to her.



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Just want to gently point out to you several things:


1) *IF* your daughter has oral H, odds are VERY VERY high she got it from another kid. As you said, you can't help what young kids do and they tend to share all kinds of things including sloppy kisses and drinks and the like. 60% of young people have oral HSV1 by the time they are young adults and most get it from other kids. Because YOU are aware of your HSV1 status, odds are HIGHLY unlikely that if she has it that she got it from you simply because I KNOW you are hyper aware of your status and you wouldn't have done anything that remotely would put her at risk.


2) I'd guess that the rash on the hands is from her drooling when sleeping... which would cause a contact dermatitis from the saliva (which has pre-digestive enzymes in it).


3) I got HSV1 orally at about age 3. I used to get TERRIBLE OB's on my face/chin. I kinda remember picking the sores a LOT.By all odds if any kid was going to pass it to their hands or other areas of the body, *I* was a prime candidate. I never got it beyond the immediate area of the mouth. It's THAT HARD to pass it to other areas of the body.


So I hope you will take this to heart and stop worrying about your daughter. This kind of focus/obsession will just be passed to her which is FAR more unhealthy for her in the long run than the virus will ever be even if she managed to get it.


*Try* to understand that the facts are she has a FAR greater chance of getting it from another kid and if she does, odds are highly unlikely that she's transferred it to her hands and this is likely an issue of a dermatitis reaction to the saliva in her mouth. And if either area develops a blister, get it swabbed so you know for sure what's going on... or at least, what is *not* going on :)

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@girlnamedhope, try not to worry so. There is nothing to be terrified about, if by some (very small chance) she has H, it's not the end of the world. She will be fine. The longer you wait though, the more serious it could get (if this is an infection).


@November0001, you can not pass this on through daily activities. If you look at WCSDancers replies in this thread, she shared a link for everyone to read about kids and H.

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