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New condom use data


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Below is her response to a man's questions:

 

 

 

 

First of all, were you diagnosed with a blood test? Have you had symptoms? What is the number associated with your positive HSV 2 test?

 

1- Genital to genital intercourse using a condom with Valtrex

 

Having sex about twice per week, there is about a 2-3% chance OR lower of transmission. new data suggests condoms are far more protective than we imagined.

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@Bambina you are right!! I read this the other day.....I'm prob way behind the times, but if your man puts a couple of drops of lube inside the condom, things feel much better for him. Just read that in cosmopolitan article

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Where can I go to find statistics and information I can give someone I just told I have the big H? His reaction is abstinence and doesn't want to go any further. How can I relieve his fears? I want to provide him with a brochure or something showing precautions we can take and how effective they are. Any help with be greatly appreciated.

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Hi there again. I would like some advice. As I posted the guy I've been involved with said abstinence is the answer I was finally able to download the brochures showing the statistics. He has not brought up the big H conversation again. I want to give him the new information I found to maybe help relieve his fears. I was told don't speak to him about it anymore otherwise I will come across as pushing the issue. Should I try bringing it up again or leave it as is and move on? We went out to dinner last night. He went to lean in and give me a kiss but pulled back. I only have genital H and have never been exposed to cold sores or oral. So in other words there's no chance I have it on my lips. I want to let him know it's ok to kiss me. I didn't go into specifics when I disclosed the big H to him. I feel I totally butchered telling him. What should I do at this point? Try and reopen the conversation and risk pushing him away or walk away?

Thanks in advance.

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Ok, so he has all the info, right?? I think I would leave it where it is and see if he still is interested after he reads and processes it. If he asks you out again and is reluctant to kiss you, I would prob tell him you are done and see what his reaction is from there. If he quickly says ok.....well, then there is your answer. Best of luck and remember, there are plenty of men out there who will accept you just as you are H and all.

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Katidid, no he does not have the information. It wasn't until after I told him that I found this website and downloaded the information. He did not mention nor did I ask what research he's done. I want to share this new information but afraid it will be pushing the issue. In my little pea brain if he had this new info it may change things.

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Oh, ok. I would def text and or call him and ask if he would be interested in the literature. With my husband 20 yrs ago....I sent him home with the little bit of info that was avail back then (very limited). He came back and said he read it and knew he didn't want it and chose to wear condoms. It's been absolutely his choice and he's still H free to this day. My first disclosure said he needed to think about it and took two weeks......came back and said he didn't handle the situation as well as he should have (I guess he meant taking two weeks to think about it) and wanted to continue dating. He wore condoms as well. We split up due to his previous gf finding out she was pregnant and had moved to TX. He chose to move to be close to his baby. I found him years later on fb and he is H -. So, sometimes it takes guys and prob women too a while to process.

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Katidid Thank you so much for the advice. So even though it seems he's made up his mind on the issue, it wouldn't be considered pushy to bring it up again? the information may not change the situation but I don't want to feel like I could've done better. Or the way I disclosed turned him off. Wish this was easier. Lol

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I just think it will put your mind to rest as far as knowing you did all you could, but you could def reach out to Hippyherpy on here and get a man's perspective. He is very open minded and seems to have no problem disclosing and or getting women. I would want a man's point of view on this and Hippyherpy will tell you straight.

 

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@hippyherpy can you please give a mans perspective on my dilemma? I want to give more informational to someone I'm seeing after I disclosed the big H last weekend. Maybe you could read my posts here and give your man opinion. Thanks in advance.

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If he was truly down for you...he would take 10 minutes and google some shit about it....I think you need to do what my name suggests....I feel myself growing bitter no not bitter just even more callous...I haven't tried to date or disclosed but I feel when i do and they act shifty they will get cut off....which confuses them....they are going to think you have found something bigger and better...and that will hit his ego prompting him to make a move on you...the more you try to lessen the blow the more he will pull and you allowing yourself as a grown woman to even entertain abstinence has to change....unless I misread and your practicing that for other reasons but if its by force and not choice....charge homeboy to the game...

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@chargeit2thagame him and I have been friends for years. We were going taking it to the next level. After disclosing he didn't contact me for a couple of days. When he finally did he said that abstinence is the reaction. So basically we are no longer taking the relationship to the next level. We went out to dinner on Friday and he basically acted like I was contagious. When we went to say good night he gave me a hug, acted like he was going to kiss me but stopped. Truthfully I don't think he did any research, he's got the stereotypical thought of what H is. I found this site and the information it contained. I want to give him the information so he can be more educated and May that would make a difference in the relationship. But I don't want to keep pushing the issue. But if it's ok to bring it up again I want to. And thank you for your advice. This whole ordeal is tearing me up. I deeply care for him since I've known him for so long. He's a great guy but just wish we could get past this.

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'To add I don't ever want to lose him as a friend. Thst is more important to me than anything. I want to make sure that if I do contact him to show the research it's not being pushy so that it pushes him away. It's a fine line I think. I don't know what to do. And thank you to everyone for being patient with me and my posts.

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