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Worried that every little itch, scratch, or twinge is an outbreak

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I was recently diagnosed with genital HSV-1 (about a month ago). My family and my close friends are so supportive. I had a very close coworker disclose to me that she also has HSV- I call her my "work mom," because we work for child protective services and she has always looked out for me since I started there three years ago. She is in her fifties, happily married, has children, and her husband loves her so much. I am also in counseling. I have found this site both extremely informative and comforting, and has even helped the weight of the social stigma of herpes feel a *little* less. What I haven't been able to shake is the constant paranoia that every little feeling in my vaginal/anal area is the start of an outbreak.


To clarify, herpes, for me, felt like a cut or tear in my perineum region. A few days later a few pimple looking pumps followed, and lastly there was one particular spot that did indeed look and feel like a cold sore. The outbreak lasted about 5 days, and then completely cleared up. Almost no scar left behind, no scabbing or crusting over. My doctor says I will start to know what the beginning stages of an outbreak feels like, but for now I feel like a human science fair project- just waiting to see what my triggers are, or waiting for my high stress job to suddenly send me over the edge. I don't know what's normal about my body anymore, and I think that's what scares me the most.


I know herpes is unique for everyone, so I know no one can really offer me sound advice about what I can expect the beginning stages of an outbreak to feel like, but does anyone have some words of wisdom on this topic? I don't want to end up causing an outbreak because I'm so stressed about what could cause me an outbreak... Seems pretty annoyingly cyclical. I also want to add that I have reoccurring issues with an anal fissure that sometimes causing tearing. This never alarmed me in the past as I have been given cream for that issue, but now I feel like I can't tell the difference between that and herpes. I just feel so overwhelmed. It's like I don't trust my body or my mind to understand each other anymore.

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The cycle is real. You get all this info, you try narrowing down what applies to you, you freak out about every bump, tingle, rash, etc. Then that freaking out stresses you out, and hello! Possible outbreak in your future!


You made it through the first outbreak and that is usually the worst. Now that it is out of the way, all you can do is wait. And, if possible, avoid that viscous cycle we've already covered. It's very hard, especially as you read through the posts. Just remember that everyone is different, and everything that happens from this point on is not herpes. Sometimes it is, most likely it's not.


Sometimes I think us veterans had it easier. We went without a support group (which was hard) but we also didn't have all this information to sort through, the different methods in which to treat things, the list of stuff to avoid, etc. It was very simple. You have herpes. Done. Next. And life went on.


Anyways, sometimes information is a tricky thing. Don't let your mind get ahead of your symptoms. It really is a minor inconvenience once you get accustomed to it.


Hopefully I didn't scare you off. LOL. Welcome to the forum.

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There is no right way to do this. There is your way. You'll find what works for you and your body. In the meantime, treat those fissures as if they are nothing more than that. Use the cream. If things don't clear up normally, then you can start to look at other possibilities.


You're welcome :)

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