What Herpes Did To AND FOR Me

[Konfucious]

So hello, I've been here briefly ghosting around here and there, especially a little over a year ago when I first found out I have herpes. HSV2. Here is my story for those of you in despair. I was there too.

 

I was shattered, broken, felt dirty and the unluckiest woman ever. I was never promiscuous to "deserve" this. I questioned it every morning. Herpes was in my head day and night. I didn't dress up as my usual. I cried myself to sleep. I didn't eat. Everything was bitter. The only thing that kept me going was my 2 year old. Suicide crossed my mind, although I would have never done it. At the time, I was in a tremoltuos relationship with my son's dad (on and off for 4 years being the side woman-etc) I found out of my diagnosis and told him about it- he was very supportive and whatnot (he tested negative) and in my despair I wanted to make things work with him because I thought no one would ever love or want me with this. I ended up having the balls THANKS TO Herpes to finally cut all ties loose with him and be FREE.

 

I was very lonely but even before herpes I hadn't met anyone that I truly was interested in. I joined the positive singles dating website a few months later not necessarily with the intention to date, but with hopes of talking to people in my situation and see faces ....the face of herpes. As any dating site, there were a few pervs here and there that would message me. Then a couple months after joining I received a message from a man with no profile picture. His message instantly drew me in. I liked him, even before knowing what he looked like. We messaged, proceeded to text, FaceTime and call. When I finally met him in person, a Radiant personality and a set of piercing ocean-blue eyes received me. The chemistry was instant. Time went by and then He informally proposed and we eloped a month ago. :) I can say I am more than happy and still shocked that I found the love of my life, who would have thought; on a dating site....a HERPES dating site. LOL I know deep down, if I didn't have herpes and I had met him in the street and he DID have it, I would have taken the risk for him.

 

I feared that I would have to settle for anyone with herpes or anyone that would accept me with this, but Herpes brought me my dream man. With or without herpes, this man was the man for me all along. Sometimes we question why me, what did I do to deserve this? But we don't stop to speculate that there may be a bigger reason for things. We must learn to let go, and accept. Not just with herpes but all in all with life.

 

Yes, I know. Some of you may think "it was easier for you to date because both of you have herpes." It is still not easy to find that fire bonding chemistry without herpes, I had never found this feeling in a "non-herpes" person before. That's because herpes doesn't define who we are. :)

 

To those in despair, hold tight. Meet people, herpes or not. Don't hide yourselves. It is not easy, I KNOW. But it will all work out in the end. Please excuse my long book, but just wanted to share a little bit of the light at the end of OUR H-Tunnel. :)