Not sure what to do

[jane]

Hi Everyone,

 

Just wanted to say thank you to this forum and website, it has been so helpful to me over the last few months. Such a great place with lots of good information and comments.

 

I am kind of in a difficult situation regarding my h and would love some advice as I am not sure what to do. My bf and I have not been close for a long time, we have a pre-schooler who is 4 and share a place together. We rarely have sex more than once a year for the last six years or so and sleep in separate beds. Anyhow, I was unfaithful and slept with someone whilst away a little while back, and got ghsv1. I confessed to my bf immediately. Obviously he was mad at me and said I deserved everything I got, even though I was really careful and used protection.

 

I do not earn much money due to looking after our little one and cannot afford a place on my own as I am reliant on my bf financially. I know he does not want to be close to me especially after what I did and what I now have. We get on in general and life is generally good, however he said he is only with me for the sake of our little one, to have mum and dad and a stable upbringing. However I am desperate to be close to someone again and feel so alone, although all my friends and family think I am in a happy relationship.

 

I know if I leave I will be on the bread line and life will be very hard and it will be awful for my little one being so broke. Also I would have to give up what little work I have to look after my little one full time if I were to leave.

 

My bf says no one will want to go near me now because of h and the fact I have a pre-schooler, which is probably true.

 

Everything is ok, apart from h and our relationship, I am just so confused and don't know what to do. I feel like I am dying inside not being close to anyone these days but I know if I leave I will not survive on my own.

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

thank you

 

[MMissouri]

Since you don't have the normal relationship/affection/etc. Would it be possible to open up the relationship and date others? More like a roommate type agreement?