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How do you handle a partner who is constantly anxious

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Hi again,

So in the early stages the boyfriend was totally fine, and for the most part a very normal sex life. Things changed a month ago after a not so pleasant doctor's visit, which you can find in my previous post. Short story, he now tells me he's always anxious about sex. On one hand that's totally understandable, on the other I'm a little shocked and have no idea how to handle this.

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@wanderingdot IIRC, you've already been through the stages of a) him getting educated about the virus, b) having a healthy sex life during which time he did not contract the virus, even though you had unprotected sex for some time, and c) revisiting condom usage after he became anxious about potentially contracting the virus. If I'm not remembering correctly, let me know. But if I am, it seems to me you've done what you can and it's time to consider it a general incompatibility issue like any other incompatibility issue.


If someone is anxious about it because they haven't had enough time to process or they are uneducated about it, that's one thing. Otherwise, it seems to me that no amount of facts will lessen anxiety. In fact, sometimes the reverse is true in that discussing it at all can increase that person's anxiety. So then it comes down to whether this sexual incompatibility is big enough to make the relationship as a whole unfulfilling. Maybe it's a deal breaker for you, maybe it isn't, I don't know.


This is only my opinion and I don't mean to sound so casual about potentially ending a relationship. If it comes across that way, I apologize in advance. I may be biased in my opinion because I had a relationship end for this reason and I can see now that it was absolutely best for both of us. It cleared the way for each of us to seek more compatible partners.

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