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Feeling Depressed and Hopeless

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I remember a time 2 years ago when I was happy with myself and my life. Ever since I was given HSV 2 by a girl who I thought loved me, what makes it worse is that she passed this to me knowingly. Ever since then I haven't been the same I no longer trust people and feel like I no longer have anything to offer. I went from going on tons of dates and always used protection to feeling worthless and hopeless and I don't even want to approach women anymore. I have given up, I really feel like I should end it already.

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This kind of reminds me of another member that we have, and the first couple of times he posted. Although his posts were a lot angrier than yours, he some similar feelings-not wanting to trust girls and feeling like he had nothing to offer woman now that sex was going to change a little, etc. He's still around..I hope he will come give you some advice. (And guess what, he's actually a pretty funny and sensitive guy, so I think he does have something to offer)


We also have quite the playboy on the forum, look for hippyherpy's thread. He's out partying it up very frequently and this is while telling the girls he has HSV.


Anyway, it's hard not to get caught up in your head when you find out you have HSV. So, if you take the physical symptoms and look at them- is it really that bad? If you say no, then continue on..


The mental part of this all is a challenge. You can look at this two ways, you can buy into the thoughts of what herpes is said to be (television, jokes, even friends) and feel like your life is going to be over now. Or, you can go back to the question above and let that really sink in. It's not that bad. It's really not. So if you agree with me so far, go the the stats and statistics. Read how many people actually carry this virus. Get some facts, Seriously, one way to change the way you view herpes is to realize it's much more common than you know. It's not going to happen overnight, but you can change the way you think, and in doing so- get your confidence back.


A couple of things you mentioned- you have a hard time trusting women. I don't know why the girl didn't disclose. Maybe she was feeling a little bit like you are now. Maybe she didn't think she had to since you were using protection (you said you always wear condoms?). I don't really know. But you need to move past that. People mess up all the time- they lie, cheat, etc. It doesn't make the entire gender bad. And for how you feel about yourself.. what did you have to offer girls before that has changed? I bet nothing has except for your view of yourself. Check out Adrials handouts and ebook. (welcome page or the picture at the left). Look at the herpes videos. Read some posts. We've all been there, and some still are. There is a post titled "herpes buddies", you might find someone in your area that's close by that you can connect with. There is nothing more healing than surrounding yourself with people that understand.


Welcome to the forum.


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If you take a look at my very first post I ever made on this website you will clearly understand why I feel the way I feel. She knew what she was doing, she is the one who eventually asked if we could have unprotected sex after months of being together. She even told me she gave it to me on purpose in order to ruin me and destroy me like she had done to so many other men. Just take a look at my first post I ever made for a very clear picture. Or don't I could really care less. This is the last time I am ever logging into this website. I don't feel any better and I never will.

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I'm not going to look at your first post, because I do remember reading it now that you've mentioned the above detail...

Support does help, by not logging in you miss out on the great support here, just give it a chance!

I'm so sorry you are hurting, there are deceptive people out there, I have personally engaged with a few....and it's shame on them!! Shame on them because we trusted them.

It takes 2 to have sex, I do believe if one doesn't open the door to the sexual convo, than both are to blame....but you said you asked, she said she was clean, she knew and lied

I'm sorry you are going thru this, I don't think any words can make it better, but time does heal, and there is support here.


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@HDS. Okay, you didn't post all that information above. And no, I don't search every post to get background before I reply. That being said..


I don't get why my reply made you angry other than the fact I said you have to move on. Well, it's been what? 2 years you said? So don't you think that is a long time to carry a grudge about something you can not change? If you want to heal, change your life, get your groove back. You have to let it go..


If you want sympathy, or someone to feed into the "you were so wronged, what an evil person to do this to you", I'm not the person to give you that. Why? It does not do one thing to help you move forward. It keeps you stuck in this exact same place.


That being said, you have to be the one to decide when enough is enough and make the changes you need to be happy again.

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You are not unworthy. This lovely virus is very common. I can understand the feelings you have toward this person who you loved honestly I do! I contracted H after being in a committed relationship for 6 years and just had a baby with him. Moving on is a personal journey, you/I have to do that on our own. Not forget but forgiveness is in our/my best interest. This is probably not what you want to hear I know. But There is lots of REAL Love is the sea!! If I have gained one thing from this lovely virus it's to be real with relationship. Go slow but but share soon, if honesty is too much for someone then I know they have some growing to do. You are not alone.

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The funny thing is... There's a chance you slept with someone who had it unknowingly Before this rude girl interrupted your life. That goes for both types of herpes.

You can keep having sex and using protection. You don't have to settle down and be in a relationship... Which is how you kind of came off. Always dating but not in a relationship. Unless you're doing that "we're not in a relationship just dating." Thing here.


If she intentionally did this. She was a bad apple from the start,but that's her. Don't allow her actions to become the problem of other girls who may potentially like you. I doubt you think all men are like yourself. So, why think all women will be like that bitch?


Either way, maybe it will take 2 years to recover or more, but the way you seem to be hurting, I can only think that it's you who can only save yourself. Now I'm not saying forgive her because that is a challenge, but start forgiving yourself and what you owe yourself more. If you keep holding onto this it will be like holding on to an anchor at sea.

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