I just found out I have herpes

[PatAnn]

so I was dating this guy for several months before finally having sex. After a few days I woke up with sores and thought maybe it was a rash. After it got worse I went to the doctor and the lesion swap came back as HSV2. I was devastated. I immediately contacted him and he said he would go get tested. He because very distant and didn't seem to sympathize with me or understand what I was going through.

 

A few days later he came back and told me he tested negative for HSV2. He took a blood test which was different than the test I took. I thought this was weird because I haven't had any other partners.

 

I went back to the doctor and asked her for a blood test. A few days later my test came back negative for HSV2. I apologized to him and was very confused. I felt like I had dodged a bullet. I began researching and read that it can take 6-8 weeks for antibodies to build up, so I decided I would wait a few weeks and get retested.

 

A few weeks later I had another blood test and this time it was positive for HSV2. I have been on a roller coaster. I have it, relief I don't, and back to I do. I told him after my second test and I haven't heard from him since. I know there is no way possible that I got it anywhere else other than him.

 

I am feeling alone, scared, miserable and dirty. The outbreaks don't bother as much as that constant voice inside my head reminding me that I am scarred. I can't help but look around when I am in social situations wondering who else might have it. I fear that I will never date again because I don't want to tell anyone I have this. I feel ashamed. I wish I could go back and take it all away but we all know I can't.

 

I am taking the suppression pills so I don't have outbreaks and I have started take Lysine BCAA, which suppresses it as well. The problem isn't having it. The problem is not wanting to spread it to anyone else so not dating.

 

I could use a friend to talk too. Male or female doesn't matter. It would just be nice to talk to someone who understands the stigma of Herpes and dating.

[StillBella]

Hi PatAnn! I'm new here and recently diagnosed in January after my crummy ex unexpectedly popped back into my life and left me with a lifelong parting gift in the form of HSV2. I understand your fear about sharing diagnosis with anyone because of the shame you feel... In April I met a really great guy, instant attraction on every level except I kept telling myself he wouldn't want to be with me because I'm "damaged goods".

 

But on the contrary, one day we were having a deep conversation and I worked up the courage to tell him about my diagnosis after lurking on this site for awhile and reading other successful disclosing stories. To my surprise he didn't even flinch when I told him, he said it didn't matter because he really liked me. Our sex life has been amazing and he has been truly understanding with everything, like right now I'm unfortunately having my 2nd OB since my first initial one in January that lasted until the end of February :( But he still kisses me and hugs me even though I'm the one that feels weird with having it.

 

You can and will date again!! This isn't the end of the road for you, I promise you there is someone amazing out there who will love you flaws and all. Just make sure you truly get to know the person before disclosing and if he's genuine and sincere it won't even matter to him.

[PatAnn]

Thank you StillBella for sharing your story. Every morning I wake up and say to myself, "Nope, it wasn't a dream". Are you taking the one a day pill to suppress OB? that is wonderful that you were able to find someone that accepts you for you. I have faith I will some day. I am getting more comfortable with it. It just sucks. I feel like my value dropped although I know that I am still a good woman and everything I was prior to this little friend.

 

I fear giving it to anyone and think maybe I will just never have sex agains o I don't have to feel humiliation by telling anyone. But why? How could others just spread it like it's nothing? Like your ex, or my ex? How could they just take that chance without disclosing it to us? The easy way out?

[StillBella]

I take valacyclovir 500 mg although I tried to get my doctor to give me 1000 mg but he said I don't need that much. I also take Lysine, Zinc and Coconut Oil pills... I didn't think they were working so I stopped taking them for awhile and BOOM an OB! Believe me I know exactly how you feel... My biggest fear is passing it to my boyfriend. I was embarrassed to tell him about my recent OB but he is understanding while I'm over here stressing out more trying to make sure it doesn't spread. You will have sex again, you're still valuable please don't ever think otherwise :)

 

Honestly I thought about hiring a lawyer to see if I could get my ex's medical records and sue him for not disclosing but I didn't pursue it out of fear for others finding out. He denied having it and claimed he was going to get tested but instead he disappeared and blocked my number. So many times I wish I could rewind time but now I look at this almost as a blessing in disguise.... a select few know and they still love me, I found this forum with wonderful, helpful people and it removed a lot of stress from my life believe it or not... I just hate the constant reminder of my mistake.

 

Things will get better for you! Does your suppressants help? One thing that helped me the most was personally talking to someone who lives with it. She's married and just had a baby, her husband doesn't have it and they are on cloud 9. That let me know I could still find love and I did. Don't give up PatAnn! The best has yet to come

 

 

[PatAnn]

I also take lysine and zinc and vitamin C, A & B. I only take 500mg of valcyclovir as well. That's why my guy did too. He said he doesn't have it and would get tested. I pressed him for a copy of the results and he said "It's not on his priority list to go all the way over there to get it".

 

Yea the constant reminder is the part that hurts. So when you said you got an OB was that while taking valacyclovir or did you stop taking that as well?

 

I can't say if the suppressants help yet. I tested positive with letian swab, then tested negative with blood test, so I stopped taking taking the pills. 8 weeks later I had another blood test and it came back positive. I have had 3 OB since April when I had my first. I immediately started taking the pills and within 48 hours they were gone.

 

I am now taking them every day. Do you get OB if you take yours every day?

[StillBella]

I'm still taking my meds but I went out of town and forgot them and my monthly started so I'm guessing from my lapse in taking them on top of my hormonal change it welcomed the OB. Before this one my only OB was my initial one in January. This was a good lesson to learn, I won't forget to take them daily. I also tested positive on the swab but not in the blood test, I haven't tested again because I'm sure it would test positive now.

[PatAnn]

Yea I am hoping that I don't get any OBs now that I am taking the meds all the time. They are so expensive though. Yea I'm sure it will come out positive with the second test.