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Is there dating apps for people with herpes?

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I am getting so frustrated with this "disease" that comes with so much judgement, misunderstanding, and emotional distress. It is a skin condition. Eczema is a skin condition. Acne is a skin condition. All reappear in certain environments, yet we know that these are normal things that people have to deal with. It seems to me that H is too. I wish I could enter the dating world with a clean slate. Dating is hard enough and having H can be isolating. I was just wondering if anyone had any good resources for dating with herpes and if it's successful or not? Is privacy respected, etc. Just blurting out thoughts in hopes of some possible other routes to move forward in my life.

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@howdidithappen There are dating apps specifically for people with herpes. Personally, I haven't tried one because 1) I know most people on the regular dating apps have one form of herpes or another, 2) I've had uniformly positive disclosure experiences after returning to a regular dating app after diagnosis (even met a guy who was also HSV2+), and 3) I would imagine the pool of daters on a herpes specific site would be rather limited, considering how few people are aware of their positive status. However, if it appeals to you, I don't think it could hurt to try one out. If you're concerned about your security, you could leave your profile photo blank. A friend who uses one of those sites told me a fair number of people on the site choose that option for privacy purposes.

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@howdidithappen Different people handle this differently. Some people feel it's important to go on several dates and let someone get to know you first. Other people feel it's important to never disclose in the heat of the moment when clothes are coming off. So I can tell you how I choose to do it, but it's just one of many ways to do it.


I'm one of the types that doesn't want to wait to disclose until clothes are coming off, so rather than meeting for a drink which could potential lead to something physical happening spontaneously, I suggest meeting for coffee. If there's no chemistry when we meet, I never disclose. If there's chemistry, I'll disclose whenever I think we have started moving in the direction of potentially becoming physical. For me, it makes no difference if that's in person, over text or on the phone. I'm more driven by timing and conversational cues because I consider it more of a dialogue about safe sex, not a one-way bulletin.


I do sometimes disclose before meeting if I've been communicating with the guy a lot and we've already started flirting in a way that makes me think things could escalate quickly upon meeting. That might sounds odd, but I'm in a very casual dating phase of life, open to both dating and FWB situations, so things can escalate quickly if there's mutual attraction.


I think once you start doing it, you'll figure out what feels right for you.

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Yeah! I used Positive Singles and it was pretty bleak at first. A lot of the guys were creepy and I started to lose hope. Then I found this amazing guy and we started dating after he got back to the US from Africa (he was deployed). But he actually got retested after we'd been dating for a few months because he was asymptomatic and it turns out his first test gave him a false positive result. But we're still together, he doesn't mind whatsoever because he had already gotten comfortable with it, and we even live together now. So there's so much hope.

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