Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

H2 possible transmission

Recommended Posts

I have slept with my new gf and she didn't tell me she had herpes 2. We have been talking for over 2 months before sex.

I never knew what Herpes was before this happened to me.

Anyways, I accept her and after reading about herpes I don't actually mind it from

Someone I really like and possibly love in the future. But the problem is that she didn't tell me

Until we had sex. I'm 31 and had 5 ex girl friends and about 5 or 6 one night stands. I always use condom or no sex. Also always test mysrlf after each relationship I had. Before I sleep with my gf I also tested myself even though I only slept with my ex gf who tested herself before we sleep together. But I have been always a paranoid person and care about others more than they care about me obviously.


Anyways I like this girl so much and I don't mind herpes but what is worrying me is that she didn't tell me about it until she slept with me and one time we had no condom on (got tested a week before I sleep with her). She even slept with me when she had an outbreak which I didn't even know what it means until later. Shall I stay with the girl? I really like her and she says that she likes me so much too. But if she does why would she didn't show a care towards me when I totally accepted her. Also I'm worried that if this relationship doesn't get anywhere, how my situation would be.


I'm not sure if I have herpes yet or not, we had sex 2 times, one with condom while outbreak and one without just days before the outbreak.


What is my chance of getting it. It has been 14 days with no symptoms.

I'm not worried about the herpes but I'm worried about if she really cares why would she be careless (have sex during outbreak with me).

She had it for years she should understand about it. I'm so confused

Don't wanna accept it then get dumped will make me feel like an idiot.

I also don't wanna leave her because I understand about herpes now and I don't mind contracting it if we will live happy together.


When shall i test my self? I Read three months, and how to convince her to wait another 2.5 months without sex until I get checked so I can be careful and use condom. Because she doesn't use her meds and she just started using them. Unless I ask her to do.

I don't want to ask her to wait because she might leave me or feel bad about it, at the same time I wanna try to not to contract the virus (use condom, meds or no condom but at least not have sex during outbreak).

I'm stuck, confused and not sure what to do. Cant speak to anyone about my situation.


Please help me guys



Link to comment

First of all, get tested again! Wear protection and get her on anti viral. That being said, I can understand how hard it is to disclose, but having sex with an ob is very selfish on her part. Even if she was afraid to disclose, she should have come up with a reason for no sex during that time. You owe it to yourself to use protection until you get tested again and know for certain if this is a relationship that will last. You are already worried about her bailing on you just because she might have to wait for sex. Well, that could be a red flag as there will be plenty of time you will have to wait for her ob's to clear up before sex......it works both ways.

Link to comment

Firstly, there's no point waiting. Regardless of the test results, sex is never 100% safe; you should just take precautions like the condoms, and ask her to play her part by taking suppressive antivirals if it would make you more comfortable. But even if you abstain and come back negative in 3 months, what are you gonna do? Break up with someone you like so much? Her behaviour is a bit confusing after knowing each other for 2 months, but the fact that she told you at all proves she cares about you. She must feel a weight off her shoulders, but she still failed to tell you soon enough. Now she'll be wondering how you react to the situation, so I would tell her what you told us - that herpes itself doesn't bother you (she's worth the risk), but she needs to help you to trust her. Also, next time she has an outbreak, wait a couple of weeks after it's healed before having sex.

Link to comment
  • 2 months later...

Thanks guys for your support. It's been 11 weeks since we first had unprotected sex but I haven't developed any symptoms yet, apart from a very tiny pimple around my shaft which doesn't hurt at all. It's more like dry white colour pimple. I wanna get tested today if I could but I'm going through my final exams for my degree which is very stressful and I don't want the result to disturb me during this two weeks. And the worst is that she broke up with me because I didn't give her sex one night. And I was thinking of asking her to wait for few weeks which I knew it won't happen. Anyways has anyone ever been exposed to herpes like me and escaped from it? Or does it mean I'm having it already. Thanks guys

Link to comment

@Jason88s If you're planning to get an IgG blood test, it would be best to wait 16 weeks from the *last* time you engaged in sex, not from the first exposure. Condoms only partially protect from HSV, so I wouldn't focus too much on whether or not that encounter was protected or unprotected. Either way, there was a small risk.


Risk of transmission is very small when no outbreaks are present. People can go decades without contracting HSV from a positive partner, so you should not assume being exposed means you have it. However, if you were exposed during an obvious outbreak, the risk of transmission would be much higher.


The symptom you're describing could be many different things. If you've had it consistently for many weeks, it's unlikely to be HSV because a symptom caused by HSV would come and go rather than being constant for many weeks.

Link to comment

@optimist thanks a lot for your reply, I think I would go with your advice and wait for 16 weeks but I would test in the couple of weeks and test again after 3 months for an accurate results. I've no symptoms at all, apart from so tiny hard to see two pimples which disappeared the next day so I'm not worried about them, but this last tiny pimple has been nearly around the root for about 4 days now. So will see how long it lasts. Unfortunately I did have sex with her during outbreak she never told me she's having an outbreak until we finished. That day I had a condom on. I'm over it now I think it was my mistake to date someone like this but people can be very douchy sometimes like in my case. I can't imagine myself having unprotected sex during outbreak with someone without telling them. Oh well. I deserve it Cheers mate again

Link to comment

Incubation period is very hit or miss as far as the info goes on the net. I read 4 to 10 days after initial contact with H positive person symptoms will present and with 90%of people showing symptoms my day 10. That's always been confusing as I've seen any where front 2 to 7 days as well as 2 to 20 days. I'm sure you must be in the clear by now. I would certainly wear condoms. Is she on anti viral??

Link to comment

@Katidid I'm studying for my final exams for my last semester in my degree, it's nice receiving a reply from you specially when this issue keeps on distracting me. Yeah nearly 11 or 12 weeks passed without symptoms is good to know but what people on the internet say is that this might show no symptoms at all. When I asked her at the first time she said that she is using natural stuff, but but after the first sex, she went on antiviral, she got it twise from her doctor. I hope I'm free since if I got infected I would at least show one of the symptoms by now but I haven't felt anything abnormal since. Will update you about the test results in a couple of weeks time and about another test results after 4 months from now. Cheers Katidid

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

So I managed to finish my last exam today. I don't know how I did it, but it's over finally. I'm having swollen throats seeming they are going to sore soon, slight headache and the pimple that I had started to look more like herpes pimple. But there is no pain or anything around it. I also can feel my lymph nodes on the side of my mouth being swallen. I guess I got the herpes already and now waiting for the test results I did today. Im sure they will be positive. But I don't care anymore. I'm one of the millions and I wanna welcome myself to join you guys :) thanks for helping me earlier when I first suspected having it, you made me get over it so quick so thanks a lot

Link to comment

Honestly, it doesn't sound like herpes to me. One small spot which is white. I could be wrong, but 11 weeks out from your encounter and the description of the spot really doesn't sound like H. I may be misunderstanding, but how long has the spot been there? Sort of sounded like it had been there a long time. Please keep us updated as to the test results. I'm very curious as to what you find out. I hope it's nothing!

Link to comment

Well first unprotected encounter was on 13 August which makes 12 weeks to date. Followed that few more encounters but a week or two later she went to her doctor and got antiviral meds. From 13 August to 12 October we were happy together and we were engaging in few sexual contacts say twice a week or once a week sometimes. So last encounter was on 12 October which makes 4.5 weeks from now. I started noticing the pimple about a week and half from now if i remember exactly. So about 2.5 weeks from last encounter. It is still there. (So that's makes about 1.5 to two weeks since I fist had the pimple). It doesnt itch, or anything even when I touch it. I wouldn't even know it exists If I didn't look. It's on the side of the shaft Close to the root. I wouldn't assume it's herpes as well as there is no itchin pain or anything like that. But about two days ago I started feeling my throats being weird. They dont hurt or anything but they feel funny and heavy. Along with that I started feeling little nodes on the side of my mouth being swollen. They dont hurt but I can feel them with my fingers. And last night after my last exam I felt I was being sick and tired, like headache, throats being worse but this morning when I woke up I'm feeling so much better. Throats not funny as last night, no headache, nodes are still swollen but so much smaller. I'm really confused right now and the only thing that will confirm this is the tests results. I booked an appointment with my doctor next week for the results and will see. Do herpes pimples always hurt ? Because in my case it doesn't hurt or itch at all, and how long herpes pimples should last? Because from looking at my pimple I can guess it will go in one more week from now at least still same size but different color now (not as white as before getting closer colour to my skin). Also do herpes cause throats to be sore or just feeling funny. My throats never hurt me. But feeling funny and last night I felt they were close to hurt, this morning they are so much better and close to normal. So confusing. I will definately post my results next week for people who went through similar symptoms might find this symptoms/ results helpful. Thanks Katidid

Link to comment

Glad that you're not too bothered either way, but I'd still say it dorsnt sound much like herpes. The pimple may just be a pimple, folliculitis, ingrown hair or from shaving, and a sore throat is probably just a sore throat, which would cause swollen nodes anyway. Plus the swollen nodes should usually be local to the infection. You ask if anyone gets away with this kind of contact.. its statistically quite difficult to spread herpes, so I'd say the majority do. My outbreaks dont really hurt, but they always redden the skin in that area, and it kinda burns. Everybody is different, but it doesnt seem like the pimple youre describing.

Link to comment

Ditto what Sil88 said. I just think you may have a cold or just allergies coming on causing the sore throat etc. I think you can have a sore throat with H, but probably more likely with hvs1 oral. I would think the area would be red at onset of bump, but that's just I would experience as well as itch. However, some people really have few symptoms. Try to be calm and just wait for the results. I'm thinking it's not H.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

@Katidid @Sil88 sorry guys for the long update I have been working for the past couple of weeks and not able to make it to the dr appointment until today. So I did blood tests for both herpes 1 and 2 and the results I got are positive for H1 and negative for H2. Even though my ex had H2. I also asked the doctor if 15 weeks from initial contact and 6 weeks from last contact is enough for antibodies to be developed and detected and he said yes is enough but will test again in couple of months. Thanks a lot for helping me though it. About the pimple I have in my genital area he said its not herpes and will go away. I still have it for a month now. Thanks alot again

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...