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the recent dreaded conformation, my story and how I'm handling it

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Ok so I'm new to this really new about a couple weeks new and am trying to figure out much of what is going on since I'm still attempting to fully process this diagnosis. I guess I'm writing this as a way to vent and just hear what others who have experienced this have gone through or how they have processed this. So here is some background on me and this situation. I am a 29 year old male who was recently diagnosed with the grandest of all HSV 2 in hindsight HSV 1-2 oral/genital dosent seem to be relevant when it comes to the fact that it's still HSV and its there for life and it can be transmitted to either sight either way, also seemingly most important it won't kill me or cause significant medical issues. So I went through a break up haven't been sexually active with anyone in any way shape or form for 6 months. I moved to a new area where I once lived. Of course I become the new face in town and start getting attention from the local women, I meet a girl cute, attractive etc. we hang out get to know each other badda bing badda boom you know the rest. Admittedly we both were irresponsible as we only questioned our statuses and took each other's word for it. Interestingly enough to me she actually asked me first what my STI status was. we continue to have relations a couple days later. After are second set of relations a couple days later I'm going to the bathroom look down and say "woooohhhhhh the F*** is this" I was freaking out, I think acceptable for the circumstances of seeing something I haven't seen before. I wasn't in pain and wouldn't have know anything was wrong other then visually. I immediately go to the VA emergency room which the VA is a joke if anyone else has dealt with them. I request a full panel STD test which much to my surprise I was told there is no test for HSV they wouldn't even give me an HIV test. So I call my primary care doc go in he looks says he's not sure it dosent really look like HSV. I tell him I don't care test me so they do, they run a blood test and all other test. In the time of waiting for results I become extremely tired daily, my lower back hurts, my lymphnode swells just feeling generally not well. I get a call from the doc all test are negative your good man no HSV ohhhhhhh thank you baby Jesus. The next day I get a tingling/itch so I go to the bathroom an boom there it is staring back at me mocking me. At this point I'm certain that it was what it is and now try to formulate a plan to discuss with this woman what is going on with me and what may be going on with her. Before I did I literally would spend at the minimum 4 hours a day researching gathering as much knowledge as possible on the subject. I understood that it was highly likely that she may have not known. And I say she may have not maybe out of ignorance but because I hadn't been sexually active for 6 months and my igg results came back negative. I muster the courage to pick her up and take her to a park where it's private and not many people are around or can hear our conversation. I'm a blunt, straight forward,to the facts individual good and bad depends on who you are. I tell her what's going on an the tears come flowing right away. She tells me she has no knowledge of having HSV she's never had an OB or any other symptoms. She's a little upset and confused and I understand, I explain my sexual background in detail so she understands my position. I do my best to keep her calm and explain to her that my main concern is her health and knowing her status because at this point I'm 99% convinced I now have HSV. The incredible difficulty we had to go through to get her tested is infuriating. Doctors discouraging or not having the capabilities, ignorant doctors saying that she has no symptoms so she dosent have it I literally had to argue with her doc for like 5 minutes I guess not long but unecsarry, and explain everything I learned through research just to get her to draw blood. I explained to the friend that I'm not mad, I don't hate you, I don't think your dirty or a slut I know very well you could have no idea and that I take equal responsibility in the fact that I chose to make thes decisions as well so I'm equally at fault here if there is a fault to place. She didn't shun me or turn me away not knowing her status as she was willing to get to know me more regardless of it being positive or negative results. About a week later I got my confirmation from a PCR test her concern for herself rose but she didn't waiver a week later she calls for her results she steps away for the convo and dosent come back for a while I go outside to see her balling her eyes out. I said its positive right she says yes barley able to look me in the eyes. She explains how dirty she feels and how she feels like the shittiest person ever for not knowing and giving it to me. I reassure her that she's not dirty and nothing much has changed about her other then her now knowing. I am a reasonable accepting person of shit happens in life that's how it goes and if I can't do anything to change it then I'm not gonna worry much about it. Although I must admit this has me terrified for some strange reason. I know it won't kill or harm me tremendously I guess I'm somewhat thankful it's in my pants which I chose who gets to see that area but the one terrifying things is knowing that I'll have to disclose my status to anyone I'm interested in that manner. For a blunt factual individual I find that this may be the hardest thing I'll have to do. I don't like feeling like I'm keeping vital information away from a potential partner I don't want to have someone develop feelings for me and then deh deh deh by the way I have HSV. I guess this is a long winded venting coping story of my HSV contraction. I know this woman is having more difficulty then I processing this and I do my best to help her out and I think I'm doing a good job but if any of you have any guidance anything motivating that I might be missing for the both of us it be greatly appreciated. I'm hoping I can keep this positive mentality in the future and hoping I can be strong enough to have a voice when I hear jokes or insults because I know this is merely a skin condition well yes a virus transmitted by way of sex but none the less a skin condition. A side note for others who may be struggling. I have eczema as well which thus far has been a much bigger pita for me then HSV knocks on wood. Again thank you for any advice and guidance it is much appreciate.

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