casual partners/one time thing

[dudereally]

okay so i know hsv1 sheds lesss frequently and i have a lower risk of transmitting it but why is it so necessary to disclose type 1? people who have it orally dont disclose before they go down on you or have sex with you which is the way a majority of us get it genitally... oral sex. so why cant i casually have sex with someone and not disclose? if im never going to see this person again and we use condoms why is that so frowned upon? im very unlikely to give it to them. i dont want to make myself so open to a person who im going to see once....

[mr_hopp]

Dude. Really. Buck it up and work that integrity muscle. ;) The point is, you're having *sex* with this person. Sex is intimate and vulnerable. Period. There's just no getting around that. If you know you have herpes and you know there's a small risk of passing it, let your one-night stand know about it. Let them know about the small risk of them getting it. Even if it's one night, it's soooo important to have the safer sex talk. And it can be easy. Since it's not a big deal and so many people have it, does that mean you *don't* talk about it or you *do*? It helps it not be a big deal to be open about it and educate. Then sex gets to be safer to everyone. (And you'll feel awesome for working that integrity. Such a great feeling.)

 

And what if you disclose your "no biggy" status and your one-nighter says "Oh, well I wasn't going to say anything since it was just one night and we're using a condom, but I have HIV." Good to know, right? Just good to be open about these kinds of things as opposed to choosing to stay in blissful ignorance. Even for one night. Then we all get to live in a more open, honest world. Especially when it comes to sex.

[Overthinker2]

Oh God Adrial everyone doesn't have the same views on casual sex as you. I find it hilarious that once someone is contracted with herpes everyone feels they should be this moral person who doesn't have casual sex! F that! This community is all about tell tell tell!! Why so we can be stigmatized when the rest of the world has it anyway especially hsv1 if you are doing what you can to protect them that is more than half of this county is doing to protect ppl from hsv1

[optimist]

@Overthinker2 You might appreciate this blogpost by Ella Dawson, a young woman with genital herpes who is very open and unapologetic about casual sex. https://ellacydawson.wordpress.com/2016/05/07/so-youve-just-been-diagnosed-with-herpes/