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Can you ever have "normal" again?

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I've been thinking that I'm not really sure I will ever feel "okay" enough to date. I'm not a judgemental person at all, but I've been in some toxic situations that have caused me to 2nd guess how others will act with/without tact/integrity. I was always very passionate about sexual activity, as long as I had an intimate monogamous relationship. Can't say I was always 100% safe, but I never had any stds. after a bad 13 year marriage I divorced my ex and have since found out he was cheating on me with someone who has HSV. I myself was "diagnosed" in the ER thinking I had a severe reaction to monistat (although they could not tell me what type) after 8 months of our divorce being final....and I had been in a new four month relationship with someone else I came to realize was another bad decision. I'm really not sure from which situation I got this, but regardless of the statics, I just don't "feel" like I'm worthy of trying to engage in dating again because I still don't feel normal. It's been a year and I'm still trying to figure out all the signs/symptoms. From what I've read I think I'm pretty average. Increasing various supplements (thanks in large part to this forum) has helped keep the majority of issues at bay....just wish I could stop feeling so ashamed, like I should condem myself to celibacy. I know it's silly, but I thought it might be a good first step to actually "say it" outside my own head.


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Here's the thing: herpes is normal. It is the norm. More people have some kind of herpes than don't.


People in general don't get that herpes is not hard to get if the two partners aren't aware and going raw they are likely to get it sooner or later.


Also, normalcy of feeling is an illusion. Life isn't static- you will get old and there are many ganges that come in life.


Getting herpes can be like a popping of the comfort bubble that's most people want to live in. Not because herpes is dangerous but because getting it is proof that people aren't invincible or immune to what life throws at them.


You actually will get more comfortable then before you had herpes because now you know the boogeyman is like the wizard of oz: the myth is scarier then the reality.

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@hippyherpy and @optimist thank you for your comments. I'm actually 45 and twice divorced (last one was very abusive) so I think I'm "healing" from several things. I am grateful for no longer feeling like I'm defined by my looks or sexuality anymore. I do look at life much differently, and I would like to believe much healthier. I also just found out that the girlfriend who allowed me to stay with her during my divorce also has hsv. I understand this is "only" a virus that more of the population have than is realized or accepted. I'm just hoping the shame and embarrassment will lessen with time. I'm a part of a narcissist abuse forum on FB, which really helped me. I wish there was a real time interaction forum for this....

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