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Going through that constant struggle since last two weeks

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I am a 40 year male. I have a girl friend for many years now and we practice safe/unsafe sex. Recently when my girl friend was out of town, I went to a bar. There I met a lady and we ended up in the bed as one night stand. First she gave me a uncovered blowjob and then we had sex with condom on. After 10-15 min of the activity, I took shower and cleaned every place with soap. After some 4 days of the episode, I started having itch in my pubic area and have now been diagnosed with Herpes 2. The outbreak happened at the base of penis on the right side in pubic area (some 1 cm diameter area).


The one question that keeps bothering me is:

Can she have possibly given me Herpes? Or did I get somewhere else and I am having outbreak just now?


While it was not very easy few days when I my doctor told me about the results, I am slowly becoming normal and trying not to keep thinking about it. One thing that keeps bothering me is how do I not spread this to my girlfriend. Having read it at multiple forums about using latex condoms, suppressive prescription and no sex during outbreaks/shedding etc, I still have some general questions which I couldn't find answers online:


1. What areas of my private parts can be infected during next occurrence given that I was infected at right base of penis during initial?

2. What all areas (penis, thigh, scrotum etc) can spread skin-to-skin virus during asymptomatic period?

3. Can I spread HSV2 virus while kissing (on lips or cheeks or french) or while just fingering my partner?

4. Can I wash my underwear/towel with cloths from my partner without spreading the virus?

5. I understand that my partner can get virus when she performs oral on me without condom. Can I give her Herpes if I perform oral on her (with no female condom)?

6. Can herpes spread if no shedding and having sex without condom?

7. What if she touches my penis (no condom) and then touches her vagina?

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It's hard to say. You could get a blood test and that might help you determine if it's a new infection or not.

As for your list:

1) Since this is your first outbreak, the next year will be a learning period for you. Generally the outbreaks stay in the same area as they first appeared. It can vary though.

2) The boxer shorts region is said to be where genital herpes settles. But if I'm understanding it correctly, the area of your outbreak is the area of concern. (someone can correct me here if I'm wrong)

3) No, you can't spread a genital infection from kissing or fingering.

4) Yes you can wash your clothing with other peoples

5) No you can not spread it by giving oral sex. The area in which you have the outbreaks is the area of concern. (Unless you possibly have cold sores as well?)

6) This one is a little tricky. Since most people have no idea when they are shedding, it's risky to go without a condom.

7) If you are having an active outbreak and she touches that (or you touch yourself) and immediately touch her vagina afterwards, there is a slim chance. Most likely not. But I wouldn't risk it.


Have you told your girlfriend of your positive status? She should probably get tested as well.


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Thanks MMissouri. My doctor ordered the blood test but he did not tell me about if it was my first outbreak or not. I don't recall though having gone through such a thing in last 15-20 years so I am assuming it is my first. I have shared the news with my girlfriend and she is great to still accept me. We'll take all precaution and hope that she doesn't catch it. Condom doesn't cover the area where I had outbreak. And I hope it'll be alright for her.


I am in a tricky position that she likes to give me oral (uncovered). She can't stand the taste/feel of the rubber in her mouth. Is she going to be safe if she performs oral to me when I don't have active outbreaks?

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