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Does your first outbreak always hurt?


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@Tweak I have no idea if your symptoms are related to herpes, but only 10-20% of people who contract herpes have noticeable initial outbreaks. It is more common to have no symptoms or very mild symptoms that are mistaken for something else like razor burn, jock itch, a pimple, an ingrown hair, etc.

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I had sex with a woman about two weeks ago. Almost immediately after I had flu like symptoms. A sore throat and almost felt feverish. I got sick for a week. I thought it was an std because the woman I slept with was known to be promiscous. I then had painful urination. They tested me for all stds except herpes which really angered me. I was negative for all stds other than that. I talked to the doctor who gave me my test results. He told me definitively that the signs I was showing wre definitely not related to herpes. But then yesterday this red stuff appears on my penis.However this is is embarassing to say but I recently masturbated using handsoap (dont laugh) and could be why my penis is red. I just dont know

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@Tweak Nothing is embarrassing here. :) Don't worry about that. We're all human.


The test would not have been worthwhile anyway because it takes several weeks for antibodies to build for a positive result *if* someone is positive. Only a swab test can detect it more immediately, but then you would need to have a relatively new lesion that had not yet healed, which you did not. If you develop a lesion, you can get it swabbed. Otherwise, you would need to wait for antibodies to build for an IgG blood test.


Genital herpes is very common, and while number of partners increases the chance of someone having it, many, many people with a history of only 1, 2, 3, 4 sex partners are infected. So while I understand your concern about this woman, it is best to keep in mind that a sizeable portion of your sex partners will be infected with genital herpes, so never assume either way and take whatever precautions you feel are necessary given that reality.


Also, as you have discovered, herpes tests are usually not included in STD testing, even if you ask to be tested for "everything." (The same goes for HPV. There isn't even an HPV test for men.) So you can assume most of your partners have never been tested for herpes, but a fair portion have it, and given that it usually doesn't produce obvious symptoms, they may fully believe they do not have it, but in reality they just don't know whether they have it or not.

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