How to tell the guy I love

[Jen1971]

I just found out last week I have herpes simplex 2, my boyfriend and broke up and I slept with a friend, my friend still doesn't think he gave it to me, cause he had never had any problems, but I haven't been with anyone but him before my break out, my dr hasn't explain alot to me. But now my bf wants to try to work things out, I'm scared to tell him cause I do love him but once he finds out I slept with someone and I havery herpes he may change his mind....how do u live with herpes? And after ur first break out when is it safe to be with anyone again, I feel dirty and it's driving me crazy, I'm on the anti viral meds but still have 5 days left to take, can anyone give me some answers please.

[MMissouri]

He might not have given it to you. There is no way to tell unless he gets tested. You're boyfriend could possibly be your giver also. (I'm assuming that the hookup was relatively soon after the breakup?). There is no real way to pin point where you got it unless you were previously tested or a virgin.

 

You could tell the boyfriend that he needs to get tested for STDs because you've been having issues since your breakup. (No need to get into details just yet).

 

You'll have to take precautions to try to avoid transmitting to a negative partner. The antivirals are a good start. Condom usage is another. But really, unless your partners are tested, you won't know what you have to do. If they are positive- it comes down to what your comfortable with. If they are negative, then it's a different story. Read the handout/posts on the forum. There is a lot of necessary information that will help you.

[Jen1971]

Thank you, my test results came back yesterday, and I'm so confused now, it showed I had vaginal herpes simplex 1, I don't have a good dr he didn't explain anything, I'm looking for another dr now...or maybe go to one of our std clinics, the guy I slept with is being tested now, but if u can transmit simplex 1 from oral sex then my bf must be the one who gave it to me he has fever blisters alot. But I guess I will never know

[MMissouri]

Odds are your boyfriend is your giver. Oral herpes (cold sores) are responsible for approx 50% of new genital herpes infections. A lot of people do not realize that cold sores can cause genital herpes, and it is transmitted through oral sex, even without an outbreak present.

 

Your conversation with your boyfriend has just become a lot easier for you. He can't blame you for a genital infection he most likely gave you. Best of luck!