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Exposure time

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I have been having sex with a women 5months.. about 2 wks ago I get flu like symptoms and break out..go to doc..he says got herpes. Gives me valtrex...he says I was exposed to it 3 wks ago...I ask the women I'm sleeping with she says she's faithfull..if I have been having rough sex with her for 5 months ..how did I just get herpes..she swears shes not lying..she's awaiting her blood work.. somethings fishy...wouldn't I already have herpes if she had it 5 months ago...someone give me advice.

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There are others here that are much more informed about the statistics, but no, you wouldn't necessarily have already gotten herpes if she's had it all along. The chances of a man getting it from a woman are fairly low. Maybe she wasn't shedding the virus at any other time you had sex, until three weeks ago when you were exposed to it. I do hope someone else comes along and gives you more thorough info, because there's no reason to believe she's been unfaithful based on the time it's taken for you to contract herpes. It seems to be the common thought people have when they find out a significant other has passed herpes to them after X amount of time...

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@markninja Most people infected with HSV are unaware they have it. If you contracted it from your girlfriend, this *may* be the case for her.


Did the doctor provide information about which type of herpes you contracted? If HSV1, you most likely acquired it from receiving oral sex. If HSV2, you most likely acquired it through genital-genital contact.


If HSV2, assuming she does not take antivirals, the odds of you contracting it from her outside an outbreak was 4% per year without condoms, 2% per year with condoms. However, if she doesn't know she has it, she may be having mild symptoms she doesn't recognize and risk of transmission would be higher at those times. And this annual statistic assumes sex is occurring on average twice per week, so if you are having more frequent sex than that, the risk increases accordingly. Still, as you can see, risk of transmission is quite low and it would not be at all unusual for you to contract it 5 months into a relationship. Some married couples go decades without one transmitting to the other. However, you mentioned rough sex which some people believe triggers outbreaks for them. If your girlfriend is unknowingly infected, rough sex might possibly have triggered symptoms that increased risk of transmission.


Statistics for HSV1 oral to genital transmission are not available, as far as I know, but oral HSV1 (commonly called cold sores) typically sheds about half as often as genital HSV2, so I would assume the risk of transmission would be even lower than stated above, but that is just an assumption.


If your concerns about infidelity are strictly related to the timeline, there is zero reason to suspect infidelity was a factor. I hope that eases your mind.



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