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Me (HSV-1) + Oral sex to my girlfriend (HSV-2 (I think)) = Please help?

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Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year now. Since I was a kid I get oral sores maybe like 1 time a year, so from what I have read I have HSV-1. After we had been together for a few months she got very painful blisters on and around her genitals/vagina. We went to the doctor, she went in a room with a female doctor for a bit then came back with Valtrex, so I guess she has HSV-2.


For all the time since that situation happened I have thought that I gave her herpes because I gave her oral sex a few days after having an oral sore. I know less about STD's than I should, when I go to the doctor everything checks fine. I don't know why but I'm not comfortable confronting her before I know more about it. But from what I have been reading there is a pretty good chance she didn't get it from me. I love her more than anything and I really don't care that she has it or if I will get HSV-2.


I just want to know more about my situation and if you know if she got it from me. My guts is telling me she got it sometime before we met and then at an early relationship stage was too afraid to tell me (or I hope nothing worse than that).


I am supposed to be studying but this is the only thing I can think about. I would like brutal and understandable honesty from you if possible.



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Valtrex is prescribed to treat both HSV1 and HSV2. Genital herpes can be caused by both HSV1 (usually from receiving oral sex) and HSV2 (usually from intercourse). I'm not clear on why you think she has HSV2. If she does have HSV2, are you certain you don't have it, as well? Please be aware that most people with HSV2 don't know they have it. This is especially true among people who already had HSV1 before contracting HSV2 as they are even less likely than average to have noticeable symptoms from HSV2. Perhaps you have already been tested as a result of all of this. HSV testing is not normally included in standard STI testing. But if you're curious, you may want to consider testing to be better informed of your own status. And if your girlfriend never specified whether her test results indicated HSV1 or HSV2, that's a super reasonable question to ask her. Given the medical interaction you described, I can't tell whether she was actually tested or just visually diagnosed. That's another very reasonable question to ask.





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Thanks! A sample from the blisters were tested but she never told me the results but I will ask about them. I read it is rare to get HSV2 from oral sex. But if the results showed that I only have HSV1 and she has HSV2 then she did not get it from me? And isn't it most likely that I have HSV2 now since we have been sexualy active since then?


(Sorry for knowing nothing)

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If you specifically requested HSV blood testing and tested negative for HSV2 *and* it turns out her swab test was positive for HSV2 *and* you had not had sexual contact with anyone other than her for the previous few months before your negative HSV blood test, then it's very unlikely you transmitted it to her. It's my understanding IgG blood tests catch 95% of HSV2 infections by 16-weeks post infection.


And no, if she does indeed have HSV2, you would not necessarily have acquired HSV2 from her by now. If your suspicion turns out to be correct that she's had it for a while, meaning that she didn't acquire it recently from you and was just afraid to tell you, the risk of transmitting it to you would be 1% per year if you're using condoms and 2% per year if you're not. If she is no longer taking Valtrex, then the risk would've increased to 2% per year with condoms and 4% without condoms, assuming you are avoiding sex during outbreaks.


On the other hand, if she has genital herpes caused by HSV1, given your history of cold sores, it is extremely likely you already have HSV1 and therefore don't need to be concerned about transmission risk. Please note that IgG blood tests miss 30% of HSV1 cases, but a history of cold sores is a strong indication that you are infected, regardless of the test results.

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