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Had my first bad disclosure

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Hi, new to this forum. I'm almost 30 and have had type 2 for all of my twenties. I usually disclose pretty quick over text and I've never had anything but a positive reaction to it so I'm really thrown. I know logically it's not me it's the herpes being rejected but I've taken it really personally. He was also quite pissed off I didn't tell him before we had a first date, I told him the day after, and now I'm questioning whether I should just spit it out ASAP to stop going through this again. Any thoughts on telling potential partners before you know whether you want them to be a potential partner or not?

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Sorry that you've had to go through this. Personally, I don't think you should tell until you think there is potential (whether for romance or a casual fling). But honestly, I think it depends on the guy and and the situation and what feels right for you.


I think the guy had unfair expectations....sounds like he's inexperienced with dealing with unexpected information with grace.

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Thanks abby. He said he couldn't trust me as I kept this a secret.. But I hardly think the day after a first date is a secret! I'll get over it but usually I get the complete opposite with men saying thank you for being so honest and it doesn't change how I see you.

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In truth to me it sounds like you dodged a bullet. It sounds to me like he was pissed he spent money on the date and wasn't going to get anything out of it with what you told him.


When I was dating online I actually put my conditions HSV2 in my profile and basically came out to everyone who read it. It was quit liberating to tell you the truth. I didn't have to worry about the "talk" and anyone who would potentially be getting a hold of me was OK with it. Believe it or not I actually had MORE men contacting me then before and even had both men and women writing me telling me how brave I was and that it showed integrity. I am actually dating a man who while he didn't reject me he did need some time to think about it. Turns out he had to wait 18 months while I dated someone else in the meantime LOL. He regrets that waited so long and then had to wait even longer :). We've been together now for about 4 months and things are going well and the sex was worth waiting for with him LOL.

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Thanks guys,


I think you're right casi, it probably was about buying me a steak. I also like the idea of being upfront on my dating profile but as I'm a youth worker it could end up being screen shot and plastered over our organisations Facebook/Twitter/instagram pages. I will have a think but have already started making jokes about it to people I chat online to already.

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