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Ex husband had sex with prostitutes - lied to me about it now I have herpes

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What do I do?

I have a super long and depression story if you really want to know the full details.... But to understand the jist of it is:


We were together for 5 years. He has always had sex, drug, drinking habits - but he never actually cheated on me. After getting married (only married for like 5 months), his drug use and emotionally abusive behavior heightened. We thought getting married would make things better but it just got worse. I couldn't take it anymore so I packed my bags and left with the dog. For months he dodged getting divorced and begged to reconcile. So I tried it out one more time. Why not right? To my misfortune, he lied/tried to hide that he slept with prostitutes while we were separated. And now ladies and gentlemen... I have herpes.


I am 26 yrs old and newly single... Wow. How to cope with not only an STD but the circumstance along with it. I'm in so much emotional pain. Insecurities... Sadness...



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Oh dear, this sounds like a really painful life lesson. The good news is that you've still got a long life ahead of you. Read through some of the other posts on this forum, you're going to realize that you can still live a very fulfilling life with H. You're probably going to want to talk to someone like a therapist, support group or trusted network of friends and family. You've been through a lot but just remember that struggle builds strength!


If you haven't already, start looking into cleaning up your diet. Not only is it going to build up your body's natural defenses to this virus, it's going to help treat the depression. Discuss with your doctor as well because prescription anti-depressants could also help in the meantime.


Remember, this is just a virus that affects the skin and happens to affect the genitals. It comes with a stigma of shame because of that. It's not a death sentence. You are loved. You still have worth. You're going to get through this and come out stronger on the other side.

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That's a lot to take in for sure. Herpes is one thing, but mixing in betrayal really adds to the pain. @SPATX919 gave some great suggestions for finding support outside of this forum (we're glad you're here!).


It's normal and healthy to grieve something like this. As a society we tend to want to just skip over that inconvenient part, but it usually comes back to bite us if we don't just allow ourselves to grieve. Getting educated about herpes is really helpful for putting things into perspective when you're ready. The herpes simplex viruses are very common and affect all classes, races, and varied sexual histories. And it's a great opportunity to focus on your overall health and develop or start new healthy habits. {{hugs}}

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  • 5 weeks later...

I got herpes 2 years ago from my first "casual" encounter with a mildly famous artist, HUH-It can happen to anyone huh... anyway, i told my kids dad who I was on and off again with and he was very supportive and accepted me as that. We had sex afterwards and he reported he never got it from me, thank God. We finally split for other reasons and months later I joined a herpes dating website and met someone on there---I felt the connection was right, I was so in love -& married him (he positive for GHSV-1)


After a couple months living together things went sour and now after a year+ of marriage I decided to leave him. I contemplated staying with him (because of herpes) but I know I'd be so unhappy, the main reason we split was that he did not accept my son. DONT SETTLE FOR ANYONE JUST BECAUSE OF HERPES. Now here I am 26 year old attractive woman, with herpes, wishing I didn't have to go back into the dating game- definitely not now and not ever. But it's life. /:

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