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Disclosure dilemma. What would you do in my shoes?

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Female. Early 30s. HSV2+. I'm preparing for my first disclosure. I met someone recently. The instant chemistry and connection was the stuff of movies. I'm talking Fourth of July fireworks kind of stuff. Everything looks great on the surface (attraction, common interests, common ambitions, common thoughts on marriage/kids, common politics). On our very first date he asks about my STD status. I was not prepared to have that conversation (we were in a bar for crying out loud). I lie. It comes up again on dates 2 and 3. He actually said, "I'm not going to stick my penis in a diseased vagina" (I think he was trying to make a point about having "high standards"). I lie again. There's no sex. I decide he's probably not the right person to share this information with; he made it pretty clear it would be a deal breaker. After 4 fabulous dates (minus the crude comment) I send him a dear john text message. I make up a lame "it's not you it's me" excuse to push him away. He doesn't buy it. He asks, "Is there something you're not telling me?" I explain it's probably best we have the conversation in person. He's open to it. We make plans to meet. Those plans don't work out. We re-schedule. 30 minutes before our redevous he texts to say he's at the gym and running 45 minutes late. I'm done at this point; clearly this isn't meant to be. I've been agonizing about what to say and he can't even show up on time?? He apologizes. He continues to pursue me. He texts. He calls. He's not letting this go - it doesn't make sense to him - everything was so great. I start to think... Maybe he actually likes me. Maybe I can imagine this disclosure going well. Maybe this is a good opportunity to practice. Maybe I misjudged him. What would you do? Move on? Be real? I'm terrified.

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I don't think you've misjudged him at all. I think you may be overlooking the multiple red flags you just described because of the chemistry between you two. My opinion? Move on. You deserve better and you deserve to make your first disclosure to someone who has actually earned your trust and isn't making you doubt your own judgment.

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