Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

Who gave it to me? Who do I need to tell?

Recommended Posts

I had (unprotected) sex with a guy I'm seeing for the first time on a Thursday (he also performed oral on me) and then again the Sunday after that. I experienced my first outbreak starting on Tuesday-ish of the following week. I have all the telltale symptoms of a primary outbreak (fever, pain in the groin, pain while urinating, some blisters) and they've gotten better with an acyclovir regimen. Is he most likely the person who gave it to me? I asked if he was clean and he said he was, but of course he might not have known his HSV status, since it's not standard, which is insane to me.


I did have what I thought was a yeast infection about a month ago, but now I'm worried that the yeast infection was maybe this all along. Is there any way to know?


I have asked my ex who I was with before this current guy to go get tested, and hopefully he is conclusively negative, and then I can be sure that it was the guy I'm currently seeing who spread it.


I am so nervous about talking to him about this, because I don't want to seem like I'm accusing him, but I also don't want him to think that I DEFINITELY spread it to him when we had sex for the first time, so my "disclosing" conversation is much different than most. Any advice on how to proceed?





Link to comment

Hi @Alex1990, did you have a swab or blood test performed for diagnosis? What were those results? I ask because that will differentiate the type - HSV1 vs HSV2. And the blood test will tell a lot because if it is a recent infection, your IgG will be negative and you'll have a positive swab. That can give you a clue as to when you acquired it. IgG can take up to 16 weeks to show in the blood, although it does show up sooner for some.


Pending the answers above, if its HSV1, you could ask your new guy if he has ever had a cold sore or specifically been tested for HSV. If he has had cold sores, he could have spread the virus to you via oral. Even if he hasn't had cold sores he could carry HSV1 orally. If it is HSV2, he could very well carry it and have no idea since most have mild symptoms mistaken for something else and a lot even have no symptoms.


Link to comment

My story is so similar to yours, I'm a month in.. I slept with someone new and 2 days later bam I got my 1st outbreak... I had been with someone for a year before this and he's never had any symptoms he got tested as soon as I told him the possibility was there and he tested positive too. So how I handled things with the new guy was I just told him my ex contacted me and said he was positive and I should get tested.. he didn't take the news so well (we had only been together once) I didn't want to come straight out with it because I didn't want someone I really didn't know to know my status and my responsibility in this was to be honest about the chance that he MIGHT have it it's up to him to move forward and get tested I feel like unless you guys are going to continue to have sex he should know for certain you're positive, but if not then that's just one less person you have to tell you're positive... if he has it he'll find out and he'll know and if he doesn't he doesn't you telling him won't change his results one way or another. it's not your fault girl who knows you could have had it a year ago you guys all chose todo what you did with no protection so if they have herpes they're just as much to "blame" as you are. I hope it all works out for you.. it will get better

Link to comment

Like stated above, I'd request the bloodwork to see what type and your numbers.

Sure, your yeast infection could of been H, I presented with what I thought was yeast or uti, and had an internal blister.

Unfortunately you might not ever know who gave it to you or how long you've had it

Good luck

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...