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22 & Just Speechless

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I am 22 years old & I recently had sex with a not so new partner . we'd had sex in the past & I'd never had an issue . but this past week , Friday to be exact , I noticed I had a couple bumps on one side of my lip area & it burned when pee passed over them . this morning , I went to the hospital to get it checked out & the nurse told me she believed it to be herpes because it hurt when she Qtipped it . I couldn't believe what I was hearing . its like I went through all the stages of denial , acceptance , depression , etc all at once & its just really overwhelming. I was given medication as if my tests already came back positive & have been feeling almost nothing already .. But there is something else I'm struggling with .. My marriage has been deteriorating for some time now , so yes I cheated & may have contracted this . my husband does not have it which I'm pretty positive he doesnt because we haven't had sex after I think I contracted this .. I have 2 kids ages 2 months & 4 years old & I am extremely worrying myself to death about spreading it to them . I haven't had any sores or problems with my mouth area & I havent noticed anything in that area . I'm just overwhelmed & lost with this whole situation & I don't know how to deal . I've just been acting like everything is normal today .. How am I suppsoed to tell anyone I made this mistake ? How am I supoosed to tell people this ? I feel so horrible . I am a horrible person ... Please help ... Anything helps ..

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I certainly can't advice you and I will not judge you. You are going to experience a lot of guilty, shame, disbelief , hurt.. just to name a few. It's compounded by your circumstances. However, over time, those emotions will subsidize if you just recognize that you are not defined by your mistakes. And that there is more that you have to offer to this thing called life. Read the disclosure materials and educate yourself so you know how to tell your partner . God be with you

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Talk to your doctor about prevent accidental transmission to your husband and children.

Talk to your husband about what is happening, and accept that he is going to experience powerful emotions when you tell him.

Be prepared to hear the truth from him, and be prepared to be honest about things.


You are in a difficult position and it will only ever get better when you open up and be honest with the people closest to you.


Good luck, and remember that herpes doesn't make anyone a bad person. The choices you make moving forward become the person you will be. Choose to work toward climbing up and out of this difficult place. Know that on the other side of that dreaded conversation is comfort, positive self image, and love in one form or another eventually.

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We all make mistakes. Does that mean it was ok what you did? You and I know it wasn't. BUT we learn from the things we do. Hopefully you're husband is understanding but the best thing to do is sit and just be honest.. that choice will have to be yours obviously. But it's just better to be honest and come out. As far as herpes goes it's really no big deal, it's more just a thing you'll have to deal with here and there. It's not gonna kill you and you're gonna live a long full life. As far as passing it on just keep your hygiene up and wash your hands every time you touch that area, etc.


But trust me, you'll be fine. God is with you. You messed up, we all do. 100% of us have a period of time that we wish we could go back to but the only thing we can do is look ahead and better our future!

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