"Coming out" in my life

[ellemmell (previously effe]

Well. I've disclosed to a total of 5 people since I've started here on the site. I find that sometimes I can take my diagnosis in a negative light, but today, I refuse to let this disease take a hold of me. I will not in any way think or believe that I am any less of a person as a result. That doesn't make any sense. It isn't anyones "fault" that they got this, no one "wants" herpes. But, I believe that life put this in my path to teach me lessons. The main lesson is that I don't need validation from casual sex or any other reason from any other person on this planet in order to feel good about myself. The only thing that's "wrong" with me is my perception of myself. No physical attribute, illness, and certainly not a skin condition will change the value of a person. A person's value is determined on merit, and what I make of my life, not of any aspects that are out of my control. I now make a choice to change my thoughts to positive thinking, and when they waver, simply bring them back, holding no judgments. I make a choice to talk about myself and others in a positive way, thus making it manifest in my own reality. I make a choice to recognize my own power as a human being, that any of us can do anything, the only thing preventing us is our own minds. Right now, I am concerned I might be pregnant because I am late. Also, I could have any other number of diseases now because I havn't been tested in a little while. Things could turn out for the worst. But if they do, it doesn't matter, because these are the things I can't change anymore. I have a doctor's appointment on Monday. I am making changes in my life for the better, and have disclosed to some people now. Today I am going to disclose to my therapist. I cannot allow life to get me down. Despite the results, I can continue on with my life. I can develop myself as a person. I can grow internally and develop a relationship with myself that is a lasting, nurturing, and loving one. I am not perfect because I am a human being. And that's okay. Today, I can make a choice to be okay with myself.

 

Thank you all lovelies <3

[mr_hopp]

Grinning from ear to ear. Thank you for sharing yourself here. Glad to have you. Glad to see you shifting into more and more self-love and self-acceptance.

[lelani]

Smiling like till I feel like I am bursting!!!! I am sooooooo proud of you effe!!!! I haven' been watching you grow and share and support with your posts...you are shining and this beautiful butterfly is emerging (she was always there, just didn't know it ;-) ). I love your last line...it IS all about making a choice - and you are finding there is so much power in that! Sending you the biggest hugs and thank you for sharing with us and allowing us to witness your journey...it really is a privilege. xxxxxxx

[Beckie]

*Clapping!!!* Wow! I could absolutely feel you as I read your post...your empowerment is palpable! Ain't nothing gonna break your stride, nobody's gonna slow you down, oh no...you are MOVIN'!!!! Thank you so much for sharing :) Much love to you xoxo Beckie

[WhoopsiDaysi]

elle baby, you ROCK! Wow. I am SO proud of you and I really honor your journey. Thank you so very much in sharing your feelings and thoughts and your journey with us. My mantra since I got my diagnosis has been "it is what it is". I think it could be yours as well. You are finding out as many of us have that once you start talking about it, it really isn't a big deal anymore and it doesn't need to define or diminish who we are. :)

 

Love you lots my dear!!

 

Brenda xo