feeling almsot suicidal I have no idea what im having is recuring mouth herpes or not

[enlight67]

I feel like I have the most rare and most horrible case of mouth herpes. I had gotten this virus from a girl I was dating that gets cold sores . She had an episode of it and told me on a text . its been 3 years now so i cant remember all of it completely but I remember I made an excuse when she told me on a text . I waited 7 days or worst 5 days to avoid catching it. when I went on a date with her all I saw was tiny little scab on her upper lip . I thought of it as the probably the virus died out and not contagious anymore. I wasn't extremely careful catching it anyway because I was wrongfully diagnosed by medical field 3 times and I thought I already had it and it wouldn't affect me. this was our first kiss so it was long. I had a very bad primary infection on lip 1 sore and mostly inside my mouth the tongue cheeks and probably the roof of the mouth but i did not pay so much attention to the roof of the mouth as I was in so much pain. Now I never goten recurrent out break on my lip except the primary but I feel like I get it inside my mouth all the time. I remember when i had the primary these sores looked fluid filled blisters but the ones i get is like red dots either 1 or 2 and they don't hurt . i get red dots on my throat too but i think that's from a cold as i have runy nose and sore throat from it but i have no idea. now the tongue i always have tounge sore once a month from maybe inflamed taste bud or herpes I cant tell . none of the recurrent herpes that i think looks anything like the primamry infection but i dont know if the recurrent inside your mouth so small that you cant even notice it . I feel like this virus is playing games with me by making it look like something else. I went to so many dentists and doctors for it that I probably spended thousands. just to find out what this is . this month I was pretty close of getting it swabbed but my insurance wouldn't pay it and i didn't have the money to pay. Plus I think I was so terrified to know it that I didint want to . I don't know what I would do if I think these things inside the mouth are really herpes . I feel like the worlds greatest fool. i feel like if this is not herpes i could finally have a peace of mind but if it is I feel like I am doomed till the day I die and so scared to actually pushing it

[enlight67]

also I have dated 3 women after this . all of them lasted very short time . I never heard anything bad from them . I don't know if I exposed them and they react differently to the virus and get no sores or no sores for a long time or maybe just so embarrassed that they wont tell me

[Lollyann76]

I honestly don't know anything about herpes causing sores inside the mouth. I do know that my daughter has, for years, had horrible episodes of canker sores in her mouth and on her throat. Very painful, and sometimes many at once. She has been tested for herpes, and tested negative, so it isn't that. Just really bad canker sores....

[SunDevourer]

Herpes can occur inside and outside the mouth, but I don't think it effects your tongue and throat.