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Disclosing after One Night Stand - Dealing with Guilt

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Genital HSVII Male here. Over the weekend I got very drunk and ended up taking a stranger back to my hotel room. I kept telling myself I would just fool around a bit and stop before anything got too serious.


But the next thing I knew she was performing oral on me, and my finger in her. And the next thing I knew I had my penis on her vagina, she telling me to put it in. But I could not because I was drunk and she was tight. That's when I suddenly realized how wrong it all was and I jumped away, literally ran away and left her there.


Sorry for the graphic details!


Now I'm completely wreaked with guilt. Never have I thought myself capable of such a thing. Should I tell her now? Should I wait until 8 weeks have elapsed then tell her to get tested? And to be even more lame, I am afraid of the repercussions. Is she going to sue me (she is very rich), or try to ruin my life somehow in the future?


Or should I hold on to hope that I did not have any visible outbreaks, and my penis only briefly touched her vagina, with no insertion. I've been H+ for 20 months, maybe I'm shedding less?


But then again I was drunk and tired, and I'm sure my immune system is down. I think I'm having an outbreak now, due to the severe stress and anxiety. I don't know if I could live with myself if I gave her herpes. Help!

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You should be okay. For all you know, you dodged the bullet there (not the other way around). Are you not taking antivirals? Although it was embarrassing, you made a good call (im assuming you didn't have any condoms). I wouldn't worry about it, imo.

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Thanks Guy84 for the response! God I hope she is ok. I'm not taking antivirals because I never thought I would have a one night stand after becoming H+. I tend not to go out but happened to be at a club for a friend's special occasion. Alcohol and good decisions don't seem to mix.


Also I'm in my mid-30s and it seems like this younger generation of girls are much more promiscuous - I never thought it would get that far!

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