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can i get a whitness?! Sex in the real-world with 1+M / 1-W partners


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Sex in the real-world with 1+M / 1-W partners: Same question as @thisislife in reverse.

 

@thisislife

Hello,

Thank you for starting this thread and to all the people/ community response; great praise, respect and gratitude for doing so. It has been a great source of hope.

 

In short, 2 weeks ago I (was totally blindsided) tested positive for HSV2; for the past 20+ years (damn! Im getting "old" ;) getting tested has been a steady practice before adding sex to any intimate relationship. Hence the reason for this screening.

 

ASK #1: I would like to know if someone has a non HSV2+ female partner that would be willing to talk to my partner about having a sexual relationship with a positive partner?

 

ASK #2: If you are willing to share your personal experience with this situation I greatly appreciate it.

 

If this is somehow a "you don't do that!" request, my apologies for doing so; my intent is only that of compassion and goodwill - I meant no harm or to be inconsiderate of others.

 

...In Long...WHY?

I hope to protect and not hurt someone i have great respect for while exploring a relationship with great potential, that deserves a chance, is given the opportunity to do so despite unexpected challenges on the front end.

 

Yes, had the talk...Next

I realize she is an intelligent woman and must come to her own conclusion however I see it my responsibility to provide resources to address the questions/ feelings she has and space to do so with/without me. Statistics and research are great but do little to address the day-to-day and emotional side of being with a positive partner. (Hence my ask for help)

 

So, in addition to summary notes of several white papers on transmission/ risk analysis/ Viral-therapy/ risk diversion between partners (-Thank you Washington University, Div of Allergy & Infectious Diseases & The Journal of the Royal Society-) should she wish/be open to talking with someone that has direct experience in this situation I would like and hope the option to be available.

 

With all of this said, i have no idea as to the "proper" way to go about this, please keep that in mind.

 

This short post has gotten long-quickly! Any help - much appreciated!

 

 

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  • 3 months later...

I have lived with H for 28 years and contracted it with my then current partner via oral sex when she had the early makings of a cold sore. It would be great to get a female's perspective and their thoughts on timing of disclosure and their initial reaction to learning of their partner living with HSV and how it would impact them.

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