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11 years in and not dating


sweet66

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for those of you who have HSV1 genitally, have you noticed if there are many folks out there with the same? i've been on the dating site a couple of times but have never actually met anyone from there. i hate online dating anyway. but here's my situation. i am not actually unhealthy at the moment, i live an active life, work full time, getting back to exercising after the new year, spent a good part of this last year following a dream and it was amazing. so, just to say, i'm not a sick person. however, i have bone marrow issues and my neutrophil (one of the WBC's) count keeps dropping. this means that i am more prone to outbreaks and have to take daily valtrex. i even get breakthrough outbreaks and sometimes have to take it twice a day. i can't imagine having that talk with anyone. there is such i high chance i could infect someone else. i also hesitate to risk contracting HSV2 because i don't need one more virus to fight. if in the end i have to get a bone marrow transplant, which means they will obliterate my immune system in order to receive the transplant, i DEFINITELY don't want to invite more incurable viruses. so, in a perfect world, i would find someone who is perfect for me AND hsv1 positive. in the meantime, i stay single and try to live a full life. all tips, insight and experience welcomed.

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Honestly don't know much about immune systems and bone marrow, but I can tell you TONS of people have HSV and take medication for it.

My pharmacist told me that they order nearly as much valacyclovir as they do blood pressure meds, and it flys off the shelf almost as fast. That means there are a lot of people taking meds for it.

Dating is difficult, though. I have spent a lot of time single before I was diagnosed. It took me a very long time to find someone I was comfortable with, then found out I had herpes a couple of months after we started dating. Remember that dating is not a big deal, and if you fear rejection, try talking to a few people you are interested in at the same time. When I was dating, I found that having a couple of interests helped lessen the ego bruising of being turned down.

I'm not saying sleep with whoever, I am very much a "one thing at a time" person in fact. But just having conversation and making plans to meet for a date with more than one person at a time is totally fair, and helps make one bad date matter much less.

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If you want to date, I think you should go for it. Someday will turn into never if you wait for circumstances to be just right.

 

You might have a disclosure that is better than your wildest dreams.

You might never need a bone marrow transplant.

You might have a long-term relationship and never transmit HSV1.

You might get HSV2 and never notice (nearly 90% don’t).

 

You might meet a terrific, imperfect guy who loves you in spite of your own imperfections.

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