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My story :(


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Hi everyone. I just wanted to share my very unlucky and extremely upsetting story and could use any words of encouragement.

 

I was diagnosed with GHSV1 when I was about 19 and while devastated I realized how hard it was to pass on to potential partners and I really never wasted a thought on it.

 

Im 26 now, I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we have had a very stressful and hard relationship filled with fighting and arguing, but I love him dearly and we have been really trying to work things out. We ended up getting into a fight in November and he didn't speak to me for a week so I thought okay well two can play at that game and I end up sleeping with a guy I hardly know and 2 weeks later bam HSV2! WHAT?! NOT 1 BUT 2 TYPES OF HERPES GENITALLY!?

I guess I deserve that for stepping outside my beautiful clean relationship. Obviously I know my stuff about herpes and HSV2 is a complete other ball game. It has been giving me non-stop outbreaks and horrible nerve sensations, that are deriving me crazy.

 

Anyways, I told my boyfriend about all this and for what reason I couldn't tell you he has accepted me fully and has gone as far as saying "If I get it, that would suck but we will work on it together and I would never leave you for this" bless his soul, honestly I don't deserve him. I am struggling with the guilt of bringing this into our relationship that was once beautiful and carefree. He trusted me and I betrayed him. It hurts so much sometimes.

 

To top it off, I came home for a week from school and we had the most amazing week together, he told me he felt like he was the luckiest guy in the world to be my boyfriend (again how do I deserve that?) but the thing is we had sex on a day I later realized I was developing sores. :( I have been crying for a week at the thought of giving him this, it is eating me inside. How can I give this beautiful, caring, understanding boy herpes because I was a disgusting horrible person. I wish I could take it back because I did something in the heat of the moment when I was angry and upset. He doesn't deserve this. It has been a week from our encounter and he still doesn't have symptoms, but I am playing the waiting game as I know the chances of it happening are very very high. I hate myself, the thing is I am pretty confident in the months to come I will be okay with this new H diagnosis, I will never forgive myself for giving this to him. What if we don't work out? I have cursed his life forever. He didn't deserve this. I should have been smarter, I should have been better, I should have never went out that night in November :(

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