New to this

[Andrea]

 

I was diagnosed with HSV-2 one week ago to date. I was lucky enough to find this forum very early on and I can't thank all of you enough for what you've shared. You guys are the only reason I was able to pull it together and get out of bed.

 

I know I will get past this, but for some reason this feels different. Maybe because there's no cure or because I feel like i've let myself down. That light at the end of this road seems a bit dimmer. The disclosing has already gotten to me, even though its something likely far into my future. Its incredibly stressful. I just keep telling myself that life always works itself out, this is new, it will get better. I have loads of hope, but can't help but feeling down.

 

 

[jessiw]

It sounds like you have had a very tough few years. Your story mirrors mine in the feelings of despair and self blame your words painted. Herpes is very much a psychological experience. Every painful belief you have about yourself and self worth will surface, It's scary and uncomfortable but well worth it. The fact that you are able to reach out to other people so soon is amazing.

 

You've got to know that you are important and special and this little virus is not gonna ruin your life. The light at the end of the road is actually brighter and you now have the support of a wonderful community to help you through the obs, the talk and the healing that your body and mind crave.

 

Thank you for sharing your story. I have had herpes for 7 years and believe me it does get better! In my opinion Herpes was the best thing that ever happened to me because I now know myself better and have a deeper care for myself. I have faith in your journey of healing and am here if you need to talk.

[mr_hopp]

Hi Andrea! It was great to talk with you the other day. And wow, you've gone through a lot in your life, huh? Quite the warrior's journey as I see it. Proving to yourself that you're a survivor, someone who can overcome obstacle after obstacle. I'm proud of you and impressed that you have made it this far ... And beyond all the survival, I'm proud of you for getting back out there, for getting back on the horse. For knowing that you're lovable and being open to proving it to yourself as a FACT. ;) Sounds like having been careless in the past is leading you into more caring. Sounds like you're paying attention now ... And that's a gift.

 

As we talked about over the phone, the worry about having this for life is a tricky fear to have ... Because it assumes that you will feel the same exact way about having herpes for the rest of your life as you do now. And that's simply not the case. Things change. Relationships change. Beliefs change. You have every ability to shift how you feel about having herpes as anything in your life. Nothing in life is unchangeable. Nothing.

 

And herpes disclosure will come naturally to you once you allow space to accept yourself. From there, the herpes talk is a breeze. I hope you do end up coming to the Herpes Opportunity weekend. That's what it's all about: A visceral, community experience of deep, deep self-acceptance. We only have a couple of spots available, so let me know soon!

[Andrea]

Jessiw-

Thank you for your comforting words. It's so sweet of you to reach out a hand and to do that for a complete stranger! Everything definitely has been surfacing, so many ups and downs these past few days. I keep having these moments of vulnerability when things slow down..little breakdowns. The quite moments I normally really enjoy seem to be filling up with thoughts i'd been keeping away throughout the day. Disbelief, betrayal, loneliness, shame, self worth, fear..it ALL surfaces. Its insanely psychological!

 

Adrial-

You are one hell of a man! I can honestly count every time someone has uttered the words "I'm proud of you". Each time it has brought me to tears :) . Out of all the negatives this virus has caused, I am getting a little closer to seeing the positives. So far it has been you guys and this part of me that has definitely woken up. I'm not sure if the awakening has brought more good than bad yet, but I guess this is all part of the process I am/will be going through. I know I have so much more to address and understand.

 

[jessiw]

No problem Andrea! I know what it's like to deal with herpes alone, so if there is anything I can do to help I will :).