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Hello,

 

I just found out on Valentine’s Day that I have both HSV 1 & 2. I am so confused and depressed. I haven’t seen many people with both and I’m just trying to get an understanding of it. Is it worse to have both? Where do i go from here.

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I have both and no it's not, they literally

A good percentage of the same virus some people have both viruses below the waist and 80% of the population has hsv 1 oral herpes I see people with cold sores at work every day,and genital herpes is growing crazy even more than oral

Because I believe it's 30% of genital herpes is coming from hsv 1

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Since I’ve found out, I have been doing a lot of research and anyone that knows me knows that after awhile I will pick myself back up. I am coming to the realization of herpes and educating myself so that others can understand as well. I’m not going to say that I will always have the best of days but I’m learning that everyday will not be the worst because of herpes.

 

I think because my boyfriend who said he “loved” me so much kind of rejected me after I told him it dampened my spirit. However, since I have been looking deeper into the facts of herpes I have decided to approach the issue once more later this week. If he rejects me again that is okay. I’ll probably be hurt but in due time I WILL heal.

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Is he rejecting you over both ? Or hsv 2 alone ? Because if he's rejecting u over hsv 1 he's crazy because the next chick he run into will have hsv 1 and he probaly already have it unless he got tested and saw his own paperwork and they don't test for hsv

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I think the rejection was over just the thought of hearing the word herpes. He repeated over and over, “no, no this can not be true.” But yesterday he actually reached out to me for the first time since Wednesday when I broke the news. He said that herpes is new to him and he didn’t know how to react but it’s a conversation that he wants to have face to face. So let’s just say we’re just right there at the moment.

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Yes it’s definitely a overwhelming topic to others who have no experience with it, try to be patient with him and educate him and y’all will be fine, he should get tested for both before he feel like he has to reject u which he should have to do that to decide, you sound like a smart woman , you will be fine

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Thank you Lifegoesonn. We have talked and I try to educate him as well as myself little by little because I do not want him to become overwhelmed or feel like there is so much pressure on him. As of right now we’re okay. He says he doesn’t want to get tested because he doesn’t have it but I’m very concerned about giving it to him especially since we still have unprotected sex even after he found out. I think he’s concerned and worried a bit because he communicated to me that he loves me and wants to be with me but he’s scared.

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@DoHope35

 

I'm with you. I am coming close to having the talk with a man I love even though we've spent time apart. I may have gotten from him last June (the last time I had sex) but if not, then I don't have a clue. That said, I appreciate your writing as you are doing it so fine and right and being so alive and real about it. Well done.

 

Fingers crossed for us both!

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Hi Sunset. It is very difficult and I can totally understand the frustration and feelings of fear, and what ifs and worry. Our relationship isn’t perfect but i can say making the steps and building up the courage to just tell him is really brave of you.

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@DoHope35

Thank you :) I was hoping I didn't have to as we've not been together sexually but twice in two years. You know, life thing. But he is wanting to give things a try again and we've known each other over 5 years... and in my 53 years.... he is the Lover my body adores. Damn pheromones - but damn fine pheromones lol And, I've loved him forever - lover, friend, support, confidant.

 

So, I was hoping to avoid the talk due to the hurt he may feel knowing full on I slept with others and then of course the rejection of H on top of his being hurt. Not to say he didn't also have company over those two years... either way, gonna be interesting!

 

Good news, time heals and we all move on - this much I've learned.

Take care and look forward to hearing how everything turns out

 

 

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@Sunset,

I glad that he wants to give it another try with you, that shows and says something about the person he is. You letting him in also ajows that you are brave enough to tell him about H even if you didn’t want to. You are right, time heals and I know that in time it also reveals many things.

 

As for me and my relationship, it’s on the “high” for now. We’re doing well and even though I can tell in his eyes he is really concerned he will not admit it. I try to do my part in educating the both of us and finding time to explain that H does not ruin my life and it will not ruin his life either.

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Yess just take it easy, maybe it’s more

Mental with him than physical I don’t think he’s exactly afraid of having it I think it’s the whole thought of u having it when it’s really a non issue and him possibly catching it, u don’t need to have someone That’s scared , either u keep educating him and he loves you enough to not care about this silly virus or move on

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@Lifegoesonn, I think you’re right. I believe it is a mental thing. I don’t want him to be scared by any means because as you said it is really a non issue. It’s more like an irritable skin condition. I know that he loves me but if he truly loves me as he says then he will have to accept all of me, as I am still the same person. If not as hard as it sounds he will have to move on though I do not want that to happen.

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Yeah I understand we need a man that won’t think twice about this because they confident enough and love us enough to be with us and even if you have to educate people about it that’s all it should take and if they can’t handle it so be it , I know whoever I end up with I don’t need them feeling scared about it but that’s on him he’s not educated on how this spread and how people get It and it’s not a big deal if he feel scared about this he need to make sure whom ever he has sex wIt’s in the future get tested for everything including this and most likely they will have one of the strains either orally or genitally and if he’s still afraid he needs to realize his dating pool is very limited there’s more people that have a herpes virus than don’t have one

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Very good point. This makes a lot of sense. There are many people who have the herpes virus and just are not aware that they have it. I believe that it is better that I know that I have it because I would feel awful for someone else to know/ find out the way that i did.

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Exactly I didn’t know for at least 4 months that I had it , it’s the knowing that’s scares him he rather be w someone that don’t know if they have it crazy right ?

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Yes very strange. I told him to get tested but he said no because he doesn’t have it, but I said how do you know? He says he just knows, but no one knows until they get tested or have an OB. It’s all so complicated in an uncomplicated way.

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I think so too. I’m not sure what to say about that. I would rather he know but he wants to continue having sex without condoms and protection. It is his choice, well our choice but I rather he be safe, though I know he can still catch it that way. At least his chances would be slimmer.

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I would't continue to sleep with a person not willing to be tested first if not already positive. Why be the one they place eventual blame on should they test positive, hell now, ain't no scratching post :)

 

Keep em' on board ladies.... and we will do our part to keep em' informed. But That.s It!

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Sunset,

You definitely say it best. When we’re together I stay stern on him and tell him that he needs to get tested. I know I can not make him but I think like you, he won’t put the blame on me, when he should have went like I said in the first place! I keep him on board though and I have restrictions when it comes to him because like I would say to anyone, your actions have consequences.

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Everyone I just wanted to give an update. I’m no longer with my “boyfriend”. I found him cheating and the first thing he tried to say was he risked his life being with me because I have herpes. He told me that he’s been coughing lately and it’s because of me and my herpes and continue to precede to say what man would want me or put up with me with this disease. This completely broke me but I stayed strong in putting him out of my life. I was tired of hearing him say he’s putting his health at risk so I just ended it.

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He's just a jerk who lashed out at your one vulnerable place he knew would be the most painful. He got caught and instead of accepting his role in his infidelity he tried changing the subject the only way he knew how. Stay strong. 

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Thank you @rainyfeather. Everyday I’m getting stronger and feeling good about the decision to end the relationship because I kept believing and was under the impression that he would be the only one willing to be with me because I have herpes. I have to stop thinking that way because he was just becoming toxic. 

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