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Just diagnosed... HSV2

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Hey all, I met a coworker about a month again and we hit it off pretty well. A week or so into our getting to know each other we slept together. He was tipsy and I had had one or two drinks and before you knew it he and I went from making out to being naked on the bed. One thing led to another and we started getting frisky. He asked me to turn off the lights which I thought was pretty odd since that’s not something I had ever had a guy ask me for. One week later I had the symptoms of an extremely bad UTI. I called out of work and went to the urgent care, gave a urine sample and was told I needed to be put on antibiotics since I had white blood cells in my urine that is a sign of a UTI. After taking the five day round of antibiotics I didn’t feel a bit better and the guy I was with was very concerned. Returned to the doctor and she did a pelvic exam. She was positive I have herpes and did an extremely painful vaginal swab to test as well as taking blood work. She told me 100% I had contracted it from the last guy I slept with, my coworker. During this time I had been in extreme pain at work, stomach cramps, burning when urinating, headaches, a high fever, as well as extreme pelvic soreness and generalized pain in that area. I had asked the guy when he had last been tested before I returned to my regular doctor, thinking it was chlamidyia or something like that (bacterial infection). He said he had been tested a month before he met me after he slept with this girl and he came clean. Hadn’t slept with anyone since then. I asked him if he had been tested for herpes and he said yes and he was negative. I was pretty sure that was a lie since he would have had to ask for that test specifically and looking back when I had been tested for STDs I had never been tested for that. All this time he acted concerned and loving. I’ll be there for you and we can be there for each other he said. Well I had been feeling better as I had been on antiviral medication but I was feeling suspicious about this guy lying to me about his history. I had been a biology major in school and I had several friends who worked at the hospital and in clinics. So I asked one of them to look up his history. Turns out he had been to the doctor 6 months ago complaining of a genital herpes outbreak and was put on the same antiviral I was currently on. He told the doctor during that visit he had been diagnosed 1 year prior to that outbreak. So that guy knowingly gave me herpes and he had been trying to make me feel guilty. That it’s ok if I gave it to him he would get tested and all this. I asked him some more details (couldn’t tell him I knew about his history) and he said he hadn’t had an outbreak between me and the other girl. I told him he had to have had one since I had an acute outbreak he should have had one a week after that girl or a week after me if I had given it to him. He said he had one two days prior which was almost 3.5 weeks after he last slept with me. Extremely unlikely it would occur that late besides I knew he already had it. I told him there was no way his outbreak could have cleared in two days without medication. Did you go to the doctor? I asked. He said no. So I told him he must have already had antivirals to help with symptoms. He denied it. I said I wouldn’t talk to him anymore that I knew he lied and he started manipulating me saying he’s affected too, I’m being selfish, and that the way I acted I deserve to have herpes. Posted a bunch of stuff about how he has such a hard life on Facebook and how I broke his heart. Threatened to “tell the truth” of why we stopped talking to our coworkers. I told him to promise me the next person he slept with he would tell he has HSV-2. He said if I knew I would tell I would never hide that. Told him I could sue him if I found out he knew and gave it to me and he said go ahead it will prove I’m not a liar. I’m HSV-2 positive and I’m telling you he gave it to me on purpose and he doesn’t even feel guilty about it. I’m going forward though and I feel braver than I’ve ever been. If I can get through this with all the stigma and knowing how people will view me once they know, I can get through anything.

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WoW, what a story! I’m sorry you had to go thru all of that. Unfortunately, this guy is a jerk and wasn’t acting responsible at all. The fact that you have proof he knew all along has to make you sick to your stomach because it that’s how I felt reading!! People can be so cruel! I definitely wouldn’t say anything else to this guy and move on. I wouldn’t bother suing either because you’d have to say how you found out which could put your friends in trouble with HIPAA laws,etc.



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Thank you! Whats made me upset is knowing that he knew especially when he saw me in pain and crying, etc. and didn’t say anything and continues to deny he knew. I have always wanted kids and I’m only 23 now I feel like I don’t have as much of a chance due to the risk of infection to the child and also the new relationship/disclosure struggle. I’m just trying to be positive and I had to share what happened with people who understand. Just posting has helped a lot and I’m trying not to be bitter about it as I know this will make it harder to move on. But this is one of those things that takes time to heal.

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No and that was the thing it happened so fast I didn’t have time to bring up wearing a condom. I know that’s not an excuse and I obviously had no idea he had herpes at the time. That’s why it almost seems intentional so he could trap me in a relationship with him. Especially since then he could get tested and say he got it from me and act all understanding and forgiving when it was really him giving it to me.

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