I hate this.

[Birdsandbutterflies]

I wake up every morning with panicky feeling. The tingling is still there after three weeks. The sore has healed up, The pain gone but still have the tingling sensation.

I started with the sore, I thought I'd cut myself. I left it for a few days then got worried. I saw my nurse and she recognised it as herpes. I freaked out internally and was in shock. She gave me Valtrex and a lab order and I got tested. Results Came back positive for HSV2. Negative for 1.

I've been married for over twenty five years. I was unfaithful 15 years ago, my husband knows and we worked through it. We're very close now. Before marriage I was also careless and had different partners.

I came home after seeing the nurse and had to tell my husband about the herpes. He was shocked too but saw how distraught I was and I was sobbing, He just held me.

 

I have not had a previous outbreak. This is first time anything like this. In the past i've had a bump, a bit of an itch but thought it was razor bump etc.

 

I can't stop the anxiety over this, I have an anxiety disorder.

This situation has caused the anxiety to escalate.

I also have an autoimmune disease which causes chronic pain. I feel a mess.

 

I am trying to destress and relax as I know that's the best thing. It's hard to think that I've done this to myself and possibly to my husband. I doubt that he gave it to me. I feel constant guilt and so ashamed. I wish I could turn the clocks back, I wish I'd lived my life differently. What gets me is my husband still loves me.

I don't think he understand about herpes. I did explain that some people can have it and have not symptoms.

Husband said he has had no signs ever. No issues.

We've had unprotected sex all these years.

So now what?

The nurse said that he doesn't need to be tested if he has no symptoms. I am not sure of that. And she said to not have sex if I have a break out. That was her input. I read though that you can still transmit even without a breakout. What do we do, carry on having sex but only when not have a breakout. He hasn't had any signs at all. He's a calm person too.

But can't do anything right now because I have the tingling. Why is it still there?

 

If the tingling stopped I think I'd feel better mentally, But it's there "tormenting" me.

Will the tingling go away? It has been three weeks since the sore appeared.

 

I'm also 52, I could be heading into menopause any time. How will that effect break outs? Would it increase them.. I don't think I can handle another break out, This is devastating.

 

I am being pro active though, I am doing a clean diet, no sugar or processed foods. keeping away from the nuts and chocolate, which are food I usually eat regularly.

Started taking Lysine, oil of oregano, olive leaf, vitamins etc.

Doing meditations to try and get me to relax.

 

I've watched the video here and I've read a lot. So ok someone said it is just a virus, a skin disorder. Thousands of people have it. That still doesn't make it right for me or make me feel better.

 

Thank you for reading. I'd appreciate any support, feedback on my questions. I feel very alone with this. I can't tell anyone else, no family or friends. Just can't tell anyone.

 

 

 

 

 

[Birdsandbutterflies]

Wel this is just great. Another sore popped up. I took a salt bath and put some lemon balm salve on it. I think all the anxiety and worrying and stressing made it come out.

I need to get a grip on this anxiety I have. It's very high. Tried to do breathing and relaxing. I did some painting yesterday, trying to distract and act "normal" I've been wearing a skirt for three weeks as it's too uncomfortable to wear anything like jeans.

Not sure if anyone is reading my posts.

I just want some support and tell me it'll get better. Thanks.

[LoveTheMountains]

Hi there, sorry you are having a rough time of it but I can't help but read your post and smile and think to myself how once your perspective changes you are going to find you are in such an enviable position to so many us on this site! : ) Soooo many of us here would love to be in a marriage with someone who finds out we have H and still loves us and thinks its no big deal! Let me give you a generic example of what many people who are not in your position go through; they are single and find out they have herpes...complete shock and despair and instant "I'm going to be alone the rest of my life- no one's ever going to love me"....followed by days/weeks/months trying to get the outbreaks under control....all while dealing with depression and anxiety over the future of their love life which causes more stress and contributes to more outbreaks....and then months and even years of coming to terms with having herpes...to final acceptance and getting back out there and learning to date with this. Oh and repeat bouts of anxiety and fears every time a new relationship is forming. What fun!!

 

Just give it time... your body will beat this thing back down, especially when you relax and make it no big deal. Also try to remember...you've apparently been living with herpes a long time! So life really hasn't changed that much for you other than knowledge that you have this and dealing with an outbreak.

 

@Sunset started a threat for women over 50. Maybe you guys can connect because I see you mentioned concerns specific to your age range. I know that outbreaks can be very connected to periods for women so maybe hitting menopause will be a good thing? Take care!

[Birdsandbutterflies]

@lovethemountains thanks for responding. You are so right, I've read many stories in here and my heart does go out to everyone.

I am thankful for my spouse, I was actually very scared he may turn around and say he was done with me after this latest news. But we have other things we connect on, it's not just intimacy. We've been through a lot of things over the years and we get through it together. So yes I can see my Situation is different to many in this forum.

 

I do have concerns because I also have an autoimmune disease and that is a challenge to live With, I've had it for years and has effected me physically and emotionally. And so having any added ailment into the mix can complicate things. I'm not currently on an autoimmune suppressant medication but I have in the past And I sometime have to go on steroids and from what I've read the steroids can aggravate herpes virus even more so especially if on a outbreak. So that also concerns me. Why the virus has reared its head at this time I don't know but the disease I have has also flared up symptoms recently. The flare up and the herpes break out happened at the same time. Why it's happening all at once I don't know. Hopefully everything will calm down soon.

 

I will check out @sunset thread.