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Disclosing, casual sex, and one night stands... college

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I'm in college and I have one night stands occasionally. Like I'll go to parties and meet someone for the first time and then we'll have sex and never talk again. But I was recently diagnosed with genital HSV1 and I don't know what to do moving forward. I don't want to stop having sex with people but I'm also really scared of being rejected.


There's one guy who I'm friends with and we hook up sometimes. I told him while I was having my first outbreak and he said he didn't think he would have sex with me in the future but he wasn't sure. I'm not into him but the fact that someone who has known me for a long time, is attracted to me, and cares about me is rejecting me because of this makes me feel like my chances with anyone else are extremely low.


I'm taking daily antivirals for suppression and I know to use condoms and I've done my research, but of course the chances of transmission are still there. Almost everything I've seen about disclosure has been about people in relationships or possibly getting into relationships in the near future. I've seen a few things about casual sex, but they're always about people who have known each other for a little bit of time before doing the deed.


If anyone has any experiences with disclosing to potential one-night stands or anything similar I'd love to hear. And please no judgement, the times have changed lol. Thanks.

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It is definitely possible to have casual sex with herpes. The trade off with doing literal one-night stands is that, if you tell potential partners in the heat of the moment, they might be okay with it and proceed to sleep with you, but then you do not know how they will react the following. But if you are only looking for a one night experience then you might not really care about how they react the following day and I dont think that is your responsibility as long as you do your part in disclosing. I have disclosed to three casual sex partners, one of which was a one night stand and she was the one who dissapeared on me the night after our encounter. So, you might find it more gratifying to wait just a little bit - maybe make out with or tease someone on the first night you meet, but then wait until the second or third night to have sex which gives a little bit more time to disclose/them more time to think. It only takes away a little bit of the spontaneity but it at least leaves open the possibility of it becoming more than a one night thing, if you want that.


In terms of disclosing the key is to do it with confidence/make it sound like you really dgaf about it/ it is something you do all the time. I will usually ask people if they have heard of herpes/not make any assumptions about what they already know, and if they I sense concern from them I will tell them more about herpes - how its actually really common, most people will get some form of herpes in their lifetimes and over half of women contract genital HSV-2 by middle age, according to what I have read. So by asking someone to take the risk I try not to feel like I am asking them to take on a huge burden that they would not have otherwise exposed themselves to later in life.


College can be a bit of a tough time because a lot of people are pretty immature about sex and stds and dont yet realize how common they are. But, if you disclose with confidence I am sure you will do great.

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I'm in college and just got diagnosed, and can't find anything about this either. For me I'm just assuming college, my sex life, and any other sort of a life for that matter is ruined.


@why your life isn't ruined. Other than the initial surprise and fear, my daily life has not been significantly impacted by my diagnosis. I did my research, started taking suppression meds, and even had sex for the first time after finding out yesterday (I'm going to make a post about it if you're interested). But herpes doesn't control you, life's what you make it.

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